Explain the situation you are referring to.

It is obvious that English is not your native language, dlaertios (there is confusion in what you write), so please give more detail.

In the USA, it would not be considered the ideal situation of couples to watch p 0 r n together. RESPECT is considered a very important part of a relationship. Watching p 0 r n AT ALL necessarily interferes with mutual devotion. The old ways of some cultures to have a lack of respect for women are not the way of true LOVE. The proper understanding of LOVE is VERY important for the Christian (because "God is LOVE", "...the GREATEST of these", 1 Corinthians 13:13), but also for any relationship (romantic or otherwise).

You should not be tolerating violent behavior. If you just accept it, it will GET WORSE (your pastor should be doing something to stop it) and neither should your children have to endure it, and the husband should not be going outside the marriage AT ALL. It is not unjust of you to want him to be sexual to you only, it is God's law that he be sexual to you ONLY and that he not even kiss another woman romantically.

There are many misunderstandings taught about LOVE. The old ways are not true LOVE. LOVE is what is in your heart and mind (we are not to walk by faith, we are to walk by the spirit/LOVE, Galatians 5:16 and 25).