too many problems- am suicidal :(
I am writing out of sheer depression and I almost feel suicidal at times. My life is a total mess- on the professional as well as personal front. I am 30 (female) and have too many problems and I wonder if you can help me at all.
Skin- my first acne experience was when I was 16 and I got my face waxed to remove the facial hair that I so hated. My skin was never the same thereafter. It burst into small pus pustules and I always had at least a pimple or two on my face until I was about 20. I don’t remember having had an absolutely clear face since then. Another bad experience was when I was almost 20. A doctor prescribed a skin cream called DIPROVATE –RD for some problem that disappeared after a while but like a fool I started using the cream on my face as an experiment. I loved what it did to my skin- it started glowing more than ever before and a couple of years down the line I realized that I had been using the cream for far too long. So fearing addiction, I stopped using it one day and that when hell broke over. My skin burst into such horrible eruptions that I had neither seen nor heard about. I was scared to look at my own face in the mirror. All my male classmate and friends almost ditched me and ran away from me for the next two years. Of course I tried all medication including strong antibiotics, salicylic acid and benzoic acid based prescription and many more prescriptions, multi-vitamins, Clearasil, clay face packs, home remedies (lemon, garlic, cucumber and what not). Yes a lot of these things worked but only to a limited extent and only for a while but nothing stopped the recurrence. Finally the doctors said that it was due o hormonal imbalance and again prescribed so much medication that today I run away from all cosmetics, ointments, skin creams, antibiotics, vitamins supplements. My present condition is that I still get these big boils on my face which appear out of nowhere and last forever and even spread over especially on my face and back. I have facial hair too which add to my frustration. Currently I am doing nothing about them except trimming them occasionally with scissors or just shaving off for a smoother look. Its not visible from afar but if you are standing close enough to me, it is obvious.
As if that was not enough, I have very loose skins. In fact, my body has no muscle, it’s all looses skin and my chest, my arms my legs- there is no muscle which had made me scared of rejection if I get into a relationship again. Have already faced rejection on this account before. I want to do something to tone my body but am wondering if it’s too late in life.
I am not rich and can’t afford expensive remedies with respect to any of my problems. Is there a more cost-effective way out? I really need help. I don’t want to stay cocooned at home and I don’t want to go out and come back feeling awful. Please please help me and tell me what I can do about my conditions. But I am sick of medicines!!
My diet is absolutely simple- I am a vegan. I don’t eat fried food, no aerated or hard drinks, no tea or coffee, no milk or milk products, no desserts- no junk food. I only consume fruits, vegetables, rice, pulses, soups, oatmeal cereals with soy proteins, soy milk. I don’t think there is much left to quit!!! Can I live like this?
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