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I lived with chronic pain 7-9.5 for about 3-5 years and 4-5 pain for about 20. I have broken my neck and seriously re-injured it two other times. I believe those accidents occurred because I was missing all the signposts that angels or my pre-fallen self laid out before my physical self to lead me away from tragedy but more importantly pain was my bodies message that my soul couldn't get through to my mind to change course. If you are still alive then you may be in this same position. You are probably in so much pain you have slowed down enough to hear from the quiet still voice of God who is love over the angry voice of the God the world worships? That is why you ask the question. Will you listen to God who is love's answers when you ask? The loving God is wanting to help you like the best mother who feeds her baby breast milk. The mother can put her breast into her babies mouth but she can not make her drink. That loving God is like a good father who is letting his son fall because he chose to fall but God who is love will carry him home on love's wings if he can not pick himself up again.

I know when I am in a lot of pain that I can get quite grumpy and mean spirited. Pain is no time to get those attitudes and conditions. It is like throwing gasoline on a fire. Loving Kindness is not only a better response to pain but loving kindness will turn your face toward God who is love so that God who is love can see you. These days may be dark days in your life but they may also be the last chance you get to bring that part of you that is loving kindness and joy back home to heaven. If you feel alone in the world it is because you are looking at your pain. I know it is difficult to act loving and kind or joyfully while your wyrm burns in pain but this is the hour that God has made for you to act loving and kind anyway. The God of this world created time but you can stop time by being loving and kind. There is a mystery here yet the mystery is revealed... love and joy is the answer to every prayer.

On the edge of extreme pain, you may have to be, so you can see the road to heaven coming to you now. As soon as I can get out of this body I am gone...and I am pain free most days now... It is no great pain that makes me long for home... Love waits for me there... Still, acupuncture, apple cider vinegar, cayenne, cinnamon, massage, Reiki, oil swishing, natural vitamins and minerals led me back or kept me in perfect health since those decades of pain but it didn't stop me from wanting to go home to heaven. I would throw every natural remedy and therapy around at my pain just in case I didn't die. Look for little signals here. Angels are guiding you to your answers. If you do not make it there then do not fear...as the God who is love would never leave you there forever...Even if pain take your life.. Pain may be your residence but it is like a burning building...Get out of there...

The incredible love waiting on the other side not only loves you "No Matter What"...but with a love so bright that the love wipes away every tear...blisters away all of your perceived imperfections and takes away all of your pain... That said, Love can come to you on earth and take away your chronic pain...while you live. Angels will direct you if you let them. They are waiting there. If you are still here though then you still have some lessons about love to learn. If these are your last days and weeks in this place where everything dies...make the most of these last lessons and make your responses a gift to God who is love. Smile when you should cry but if you cry then forgive yourself. God who is love does. Know that love is close to you when you do this. God who rules the earth like a raging lion can only bless you when you act in a way that defies the laws of the earth. Act joyfully when you could act mean. Respond to the absence of love with love and kindness. You may be in soaring pain but the God of this world can not touch you when you live inside that place of loving kindness and joy. When you fail to act joyfully and lovingly then forgive yourself. The best father and mother who is God in heaven doesn't remember her children's bad moments but looks beyond those moments when we didn't shine as love's most wonderful child learning how to be who we planned to be before we were born...the best possible us. We may be so twisted away from that original plan that it might be impossible to get back there... but God who is the best father anywhere wants you to make a home run but will be just as proud of you if you bunt and make it to first base...cheering the whole way... God who is love loves you that way... Give what you can give...

The great mystery of heaven and hell are revealed in the NDE. God does not throw away loving kindness and joy attached to loving kindness. In the midst of your pain, try to find ways to share that kind of love, joy and kindness with others even if it is in small ways. In this way you can use these last days to bring a part of you to heaven that will become a part of God when time ends. Life is an amazing chance to add to the tapestry that is God. Use these days wisely.. They may be all you get.

You probably know the why to your pain but could it be that your pain is what it took to get you to slow down so you could ask if God is angry. God who is love in heaven is never angry. God who is love is love. God who is in heaven loves you like Love's favorite child. The distorted and twisted God of this world is the one who is angry and nothing you can do will ever please him enough. Dwelling on that angry God gives him too much power... But...He only has you while you live. He is angry because you broke agreements with him to do what you said you would do before you were born. You may be living in the wrong place. You may have pursued the wrong kind of vocation. You may have made food choices that were not kosher. You may have made lifestyle choices that broke one or more of hundreds of laws that bind men but none of those laws can control the human spirit that responds to the absence of love with loving kindness, joy, and a smile. This may seem an impossible task but if you want to find the face of God you should know how to recognize it. If you see an angry God then you are looking in the wrong place.

When you do finally walk out of your body... look toward the light...The light that is love...all of your pain will fall off of you like a farmer who throws off a sack of grain... As you get lighter...move toward the light and the light of God's love will embrace you... You don't have to die to see the light but if you do then know that you are loved... by love itself... Be true to love and where you are true to love....love will be true to you...

Yh bless

"what else can one do?"

For me, living with Rheumatoid Arthritis has been a lesson in humility. As with all of the challenges that I've overcome throughout my lifetime, I've chosen to view them as Life Lessons rather than curses. At one point, I was wishing that something would occur to end my misery, but I pulled out of that situation with a stronger understanding of my place in this world.

The often-crippling pain and discomfort that I've experienced with the roooomatizz has taught me to be grateful for those days that I CAN be productive. I have also learned to express even more empathy for those who are worse-off than I am. At one time, I believed that empathy was to be measured out according to the infirmity or devastation - I've since learned that my empathy must remain bottomless, limitless, and completely blind.

Yesterday, I was having a bit of a struggle in the studio with my symptoms, and in walked this wonderful artist. She is a reminder to me that things could be MUCH worse - she lost a leg due to an infection and has survived cancer, etc. She was telling me how difficult the heat is on her stump - the prosthesis creates sweat and she suffers rashes, phantom pains, and so forth. Here I am, feeling sorry for myself because my joints are aching and I'm running a rheumatic fever. Where do I get off feeling sorry for myself when this brave woman walks in with a prosthetic leg and faces SO many challenges on a daily (sometimes, hourly) basis? The same goes true with the young men and women who have lost their lives fighting in a war halfway across the world - they will NEVER have the opportunity to complain about their joints aching, their children crying, or their mortgage payments being late. How do I dare complain about my issues when those young people have lost their lives? My lifetime is NOT "all about me"...it's about how I effect the lives of others, regardless of what might be interfering with my efforts on any given day.

These are the things that keep me in touch with God and my Self (that Life's Spark that makes me an individual). God isn't striking anyone down with anything - He doesn't exact retribution in the form of accidents, diseases, or suffering. God's Love is beyond anything that we human beings can understand and the closest thing that I can equate to His Love is that of a pet: they do not see race, handicap, superficial beauty, or any of the other things that so use up the time of us human beings - a pet loves us because they just DO.

All of the things that we expereince as human beings are part of the Human Condition - with the "choice of free will" also comes humanity and flaws, and this simple fact is one that keeps me going every day and keeps me humble in the Divine Sight of God. For me, ending my life (either willfully or by neglect) has never been an option because I am Surviving my challenges so that I might help others learn how they might Survive theirs. Nowhere, in any religious or philosophical writings or teachings, can it be read that "Life is Fair." Life is NOT fair, and this is just one of those things that we have to accept and rise above, EVEN if it takes every ounce of courage, effort, and determination that we have.

God bless you!