Sorry for all the worry.. In general, and I can only speak in general terms, the virus actually isn't all that easy to transmit, but obviously there are cases where it happens in spite of the odds.

Transmission is almost always a skin to skin transfer and is more than just casual contact. There's some friction going on. Normal intact skin is a good barrier against most pathogens, including the herpes virus. Mucous membranes, such as lips and genital tissues are relatively more vulnerable, but are still not "virus sponges", so to speak.

My advice is to keep an eye out for symptoms, but don't obsess about it. If you get something in the way of a cluster of tiny blisters with clear fluids, or "paper cut" irritations, get to a doctor or clinic and have them do a type-specific culture or, better, a PCR swab of the area looking for herpes simplex. If you don't have any signs, you can get a blood test for herpes antibodies, but you have to wait long enough for the antibodies to develop, if they are going to. That means waiting at least 12 weeks, or longer. Be sure to get a type-specific IgG test. The most common one is the HerpeSelect IgG for types 1 & 2.

Please let me know if I can help further. There are some very active support and information forums at
http://racoon.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi
that would probably provide quicker responses than here and there are even some medically trained people there.