I just have to share this with you-all.

My sister -Brandi- sent this to me. Eddie is her boyfriend and he is going to cleans and do all the protocols with her. I feel so connected. Hee heee..

I sure hope you-all enjoy this as much as I have.


Hi Brandi, I don't know if this will resonate with you right now or not, but I'll offer it anyway. Remember, a lot of what I'm writing I know you may already understand and part of me writing it is so I can understand it better :) Consider that the Universe is One field of awareness-consciousness and it is made up of everything, both what has manifested and what is not yet manifested and we humans are beings that have the gift of taking the unmanifest and making it into stuff. That stuff ranges from a car to an emotion to a thought. It is all energy. The car is a really dense form of energy, the emotion is lighter and the thought is even lighter. But since it is One field of energy, all things, from cars to emotions to thoughts are made of the same stuff. So, what makes them unique or personal? What makes anger into "my anger" or what makes fear into "my fear" or what makes love into "my love"? From reading so much and journaling and especially our talks, your insights, Debbie Ford's way of saying things, it seems it is our interpretation of these different energies that make "pain" into "my pain" etc. And so the world we each see is unique to our senses even though it is One. So, is the idea of "my pain" real? YES, but it is only real to me because I'm the one who gave a certain felt energy that particular meaning or interpretation. It FEELS so personal because of that. But, at another level the energy of any thought or feeling or object is non-personal. . it exists as it is, regardless of my interpretation. In fact, it is my interpretation of the object or thought or emotion that makes me see it a certain way or judge it a certain way or feel it a certain way. But, outside of that, it is what it is. So, maybe the thing that you feel as "fear", for example, is a Universal and impersonal frequency of energy that exists, that just is. All humans can "tune into" that energy sometimes. Then we give it a meaning to make it "mine". And maybe our thinking--the way we focus on the meanings we have given these energy currents--is what causes us to stay tuned into them, like a radio that is tuned into a particular station.

Like Debbie explains the chatter box. When we are tuned into one "station', for example the station of anxiety, we can't experience all the other possible stations AND we identify that "station" as "Me". We go from station to station and we always identify it as "Me." So, we say "I am scared" or "I am happy". Maybe the state of enlightenment is the ability to shift our way of thinking so that instead we say, "I am EXPERIENCING fear" or I am experiencing happiness". . .instead of "owning" these energies, we just experience them and in doing so, we join with the whole human race, we become One as an experiencer of all these things without possessing any of them. We let them come--observe and experience them--then let them pass and experience the next one.

What I am noticing Brandi is that when I can do that there are gaps sometimes and in those gaps the feeling I feel is just love. Its like it is there always. . in, around, above everything else. Whenever there is a gap there is love rushing in to fill it. Maybe that is what the Sages mean when they talk about the bliss of just "being". As soon as I try to own it, it departs and something else rushes in. When I just experience it I am timeless. when I notice I am timeless it is gone again. Kind of like you were saying about your brief experience of bliss. Maybe that is why when we 'try" to feel happy it eludes us. The very attempt to put a lasso around an energy frequency is illusion. It melts away from us. But there is something else even more mysterious. when we try NOT to feel something, we may feel it even more! Why??? Go back to the metaphor of how we try to "own" energy--tuning in to that particular radio station.

We have an experience, we clutch it and give it a meaning--we are now tuned in to it as "Me." Then we find it is unpleasant and we try to get rid of it. It doesn't work because we are tuned into that station still! We can't HELP but be tuned into it because we have labeled it as "Me." How can I get rid of "Me"??? Makes sense, but then again, if I'm not all these things I've given meaning to then who am I? That's what Debbie asks us to have the courage to explore right? OK, well I've been doing a lot of that and the answer that has come is. . .hmmm. . .wonderful and scary at the same time. Who am I? I am whatever I choose to be from moment to moment. BUT--and here is where I'm getting excited from maybe understanding--I cannot choose freely when big parts of me are unconscious. I can't because--going back to the radio metaphor--half the time I am not even aware of the choices I made that have got me tuned into some station I don't like! I Think this is what Debbie is saying?

Not to mention lot's of others including Jesus! Instead of AM and FM band, our radios have Conscious and Shadow bands LOL. Have you ever found yourself mindlessly humming a tune in your head and you don't even know why? how about mindlessly eating something you don't even like or even not really even tasting it? Maybe that is how we go through life. . .unconsciously choosing-- which tunes us into stations that we aren't even aware of or that, once we are aware of them, we can't change the station. We're clinging and labeling things unconsciously and feeling what comes consciously and we can't understand why. . . What's worse, the Universe is a place of fulfillment. So, when we ask "why am I depressed?" the Universe--through our minds--gives us reasons--our Stories!!! LOL. . .or if we say "I feel happy" the Universe says "Yes, you feel happy" LOL. . .Or if we say "I wish I wasn't fearful" the Universe allows us to create EXACTLY that experience: wishing we weren't fearful! Our experience is always confirmed to us! EXCEPT when we lie--and Debbie talked about that too right? :) If we feel depressed and we say "I am happy" we are in denial and we know it. Lying doesn't change anything. Ok, so what's the point? Well, it seems like the more conscious we are the greater is our power to choose who we are from moment to moment. She's right isn't she?! By bringing everything into consciousness we can choose who we are and maybe THAT is what it feels like to be healed and whole.

Maybe the art of being fully human and whole is constantly being able to choose--without lying to ourselves--who we are every moment. Maybe the essence of being human is the ability to merge consciously, by choice, moment by moment, with various energies that are in the One Universal field. Merge with them and experience them not grab them, cling to them and define ourselves AS them. It is as if being fully human and alive is like being an actor in a huge drama where we get to be whatever character and have whatever lines we choose. And, living partly or wholly unconsciously is like being in that same drama WITHOUT being able to choose our role and lines sometimes. Maybe that is what Debbie meant about either using our stories or being used by them. God is the Executive Producer of the big drama--God founded it all lol. . .Our Soul or Higher Self is the Director. Our personality is the actor. The Soul knows how it wants the script to be acted so it keeps going "Cut! That isn't the right line." LOL. . .the play is supposed to be a light hearted comedy but we are mostly acting it as a dark drama or a horror film! We can't always here the cues the Soul is giving us because our Egos want to be the Producer, Director and Actor :) But, God was smart--after all he put EVERYTHING into this production--even his own Son! So, God gave us intuition and a desire to become conscious--so the Soul can get through eventually so we can play the right role and say the right lines! And, all the people in our lives are acting in our scenes with us. The Universe is the stage. We get all mixed up because we ALL want to direct one another, we ALL think one another are saying the wrong lines and playing the wrong part, but we are blind too, we don't even know what the True parts and lines are because we won't listen to the Director LOL Then. . .something happens. . .we start to wake up. . .we start to align with our Soul. God seems so relieved because it is almost opening night and we have GOT to learn our proper roles and lines! We start to hear the cues our Souls are giving. . .all of the sudden we go, "Oh my God, it is a Light-Hearted Comedy not a horror story! Oops!" LOL. . then we panic and try to learn all our new lines and figure out our role (going "back to earth" after an experience of enlightenment). For a while we feel miserable, lost, scared to death of going on stage! Then we notice that God is sitting in the front row quietly, calmly smiling. The Soul is patiently waiting for us to calm down. Someone who is already completely enlightened nudges us and says, "You'll never believe it. All this confusion and pain and stuff was part of the play. It was all supposed to happen. Don't sweat it, you already know your role and your lines. Just say whatever comes to your mind when the curtain goes up and that is all you have to do." We just sit there dumbfounded, then we panic again and say to that person," ok but what role am I playing?" She smiles and leans closer to us and says, "that's easy, you're playing you". But we say, "Who am I?" She smiles again and says, "anyone you want to be, from moment to moment." Whew. . .what a lot of hot air eh? But, do you think I am making sense?


Eddie