Hi, I know how you feel. It has been many years since I had any medical help for an ED, but I remember not being entirely truthful towards the end of my treatment. Truth is, I had had enough. I didn't want the constant questions, and delving into my thoughts any more. I think it was better for me to cope on my own, with my books as back up. BUT, if you are wanting out, in order to go back to starving yourself, please think again. It is easy now to think back to the good things about how it was, but if you are honest with yourself, there were probably more low points than good.

What would be better would be a properly worked out diet for you, with help sticking to it. This should be nutritionally balanced, not ultra high in carbs, as many ED clinic diets are, but maybe more focused on healthy, natural eating, so that you feel ok with it.

Could you talk to your doctor about this? What you are feeling is completely normal. Our minds are like two people arguing with each other. If you really want to get better, you need to squash the anorexic side, and not let it get the better of you.