Wondering... 
#70083
17 y
2,363
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Hello everyone. I know there is sparse posting to this page, but I'm trying anyway.
In the last few years I have experienced some horrible traumatic events and illnesses. I have also been no angel during this time, or any other time. Someone briefly mentioned to me that since I was such a "problem child" all my life that it's probably karma coming back to me. In order to deal with what life dished out, I reacted in anger, violence, revenge, and drank/did drugs to cover my feelings. I have tried all types of "cures" for my ailments from westernized medicine to natural cures and meditation. I have delt with my demons & past with deep meditation and radical changes in my thinking and actions, and how I just deal with people and the world. No more drugs, drinking, or smoking. No using other people, gossiping, setting people against eachother, and no cheating or lying either. Like I said before, you realize the error of your ways and that you are the one CAUSING your own misfortune & illnesses, you tend to see the light.
Things now seem to be on an upswing. I am getting physically better as well as emotionally and spiritually.
I was wondering about this energy and Karma as well. People have said I should go for a "cleansing". What does this entail and how to I go about it? I have already tried to make amends for all I have done to people and I have started to pay people back for all I have taken. Is there anything I can do to make up for all I've done in the past and clear myself? I know I will not rest easy or find any peace until I have cleared myself. Please, if anyone has any ideas or advice, do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you in advance,
Peace
MK
- Re: Wondering... magic_glitter
17 y
2,559
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No. I do think we get what we give eventually, BUT it also depends. I think "karma" only lasts as long as you let it. If you feel sorry for yourself or guilty for past behaviour, then negativity will only stay in your life. If you forgive yourself, others, and ask others for forgiveness, then you're actively healing, and positivity will come in your life. It's just about realizing past mistakes, and changing accordingly. Treat yourself and your body better instead of abusing it with drugs and alcohol. Treat others better and get to the root of your anger, and learn how to forgive. By doing so, you're learning the lessons you needed to learn, and letting positivity into your life. Positivity was always there, you just didn't let it in before because you were caught up in a negative lifestyle and way of thinking, and refused to learn the lessons you needed to (aka running away, blaming others). Make sense?
Forget "karma" or being a "problem child" (lol, I was a problem child to an extent too, though I took my anger out in a different way). Just look at yourself, they way you are now, and love yourself. Forget others trying to guilt trip you into believing you deserve bad karma - nobody is perfect, and you're not expected to be perfect. Just practice forgiveness for yourself and everyone in your life, past, present and future. And accepting healing, particularly that you are worthy of healing.
You might benefit some reading this book: "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. I strongly recommend it for starting your healing journey :)
- Magic, cute avatar :D... n/m b2reflect 17 y 2,158
- Re: Wondering... b2reflect
17 y
2,156
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Hi MK,
As you are forgiving yourself (first and foremost... we tend to 'forget' about us), and forgiving others, along with making ammends, you are correcting your life. As Magic said, (not verbatem) by taking care of yourself and no longer abusing yourself, you are able to bring positivity into your life.
Positivity keeps you moving forward and in doing so, many people will see that as a threat and attempt to do whatever they are able to make you feel that you cannot become a 'better' person (reason for quote is we all are better... we just may not show it)(I do recognize this may cause controversy due to all the 'sick' people out there but IMHO, I believe, without a doubt, "God don't make Junk"). It is easier to see you, whether they liked it or not, as this other person...this negative, harmful, hurtful person. Now you are proving to them we can make ourselves into the Best Self we are. Not all will like that.
You are doing well and you need to recognize that. You stated "I will not rest easy or find peace until I have cleared myself" yet you are clearing yourself. There is no need to think otherwise. Look what you have done thus far. FORGIVE YOURSELF and others, then you will have cleared yourself.
You rock, MK, don't forget it...and remember "God made you and He does not make JUNK." Continue on this journey called positivity and respect for yourself and others. Know you are well.
Love, Light and Peace,
Beth
- Re: Wondering... #70083
17 y
2,316
This is a reply to # 830,119Advertisement
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Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
Well thank you guys for your words of encouragement. I've not ALWAYS been like this. I think I did this to myself & others as a way to cope with whatever happened. I just reacted & did so very badly. I have forgiven myself and others around me. I have not only been the abuser, I haev been at the other end of it too. I've also tried to stave away the negative people in my life. Almost like misery loves company, the people attracted into my life were just as horrible as I was.
You're so right!!!:
"Positivity keeps you moving forward and in doing so, many people will see that as a threat and attempt to do whatever they are able to make you feel that you cannot become a 'better' person"
As if I offended my old "friends", they have come down hard on me for making any changes. I believe people are scared of any changes, even if they are positive ones. I don' discuss these "life changes" with these people and try not to associate with them much at all. Just weird how people think sometimes.
Youre' right as well with the "Forgiveness" idea. It has been a very powerful motivator in my journey. Almost 10 years ago, I had an x who I treated very badly who had such compassion for me- she forgave me. I think that sparked the ideas of change which followed me all this time. As if her act of forgiveness was a little light in the storm, I think it lead me here. I haven't seen her in years but I'd like to thank her for her inspiration. I doubt it will happen though.
Of course, I'd like to thank you guys again for your words. Some boards on here are kinder than others. I will check that book out too.
-MK
- Re: Wondering... #70083
17 y
2,316
- Re: Wondering... magic_glitter
17 y
2,559
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