Anorexia girl: made a friend feel HO... 
to that stage x
18 y
1,973
† Cross †
So, I'm ana/mia and I was at a friend's house and she's kind-of chubby. She always talks about how I never eat etc etc and how she's so fat. I kept telling her she wasn't , which she really isn't--I think. So I told her to go check her BMI. Apparently her BMI is 25. So you can guess what happened. She started freaking out--I meanwhile checked mien and I am SO embarrassed to say that I'm fat enough to have mien be 20. GROSS. I'm working on a fast now. But this is about HER. So, she was crying I felt horrible. Then she starts eating all these cookies and I couldn't tell her to stop eating because... I just couldn't.
Anyone else with an E.D. out there ever run into a problem like this? What do I do? =[[[[[[
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- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... magic_glitter
18 y
1,797
This is a reply to # 801,247Umm? I'm pretty sure 20 is a normal, healthy BMI. It's even on the lowish side. If you know you're anorexic, WHY are you going on a fast?
I suggest you talk to an adult, like the school counsellor, about your problem immediently.
And your "friend" is not fat either. The limit for a healthy BMI is 24.9 - so yes, your friend weighs a bit more than she should, BUT you both sound very young, and the BMI is only applicable for people OVER THE AGE OF 18!! If you are under 18, the BMI calculations will be off for both of you, because teenagers are still growing so they tend to carry a bit more weight that will eventually be used to fill out their frames as they get taller and grow pretty womanly curves.
I have to say - you and your "friend" seem more like competitors than friends. You should NOT be talking about weight with your friends, it is unhealthy to put so much emphasis on it. I suggest you ask your friend to talk to the school counsellor about her unhealthy focus on weight as well, in addition to seeking help for her binging (eating a lot when upset like that is called binging and is also a disorder).
Please deal with your problems NOW. Talk to an adult, tell your parents about your problems and make them get you counselling, or talk to a counsellor at school. You may also want to consider cooling your relationship with your "friend" - you seem to have an unhealthy influence on eachother. Real friends don't make eachother feel bad for the way they look. True friends care about what is on the INSIDE, not the external appearance.
Best Wishes!
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- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... to that stage x
17 y
1,722
This is a reply to # 801,355I didn't post this to get help with MY eating disorder.
&&What's up with the quotation marks on friend? I can truly admit I was at a friends house and this is about her.
Again I'm not looking for help with my weight at the moment. This forum is for people who pursue in fasts and whatnot to lose weight. Don't come here if you're just going to lecture us.
You also know nothing about the relationship I have with my friend so you shouldn't "suggest I cool my relationship."
All different subjects come up when speaking to close people and should all be open.
So, again, don't come here to lecture people,
thanks
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- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... #68716
17 y
1,681
This is a reply to # 801,675Hi,
Magic-glitters post was, I'm sure, well meant and written with the best of intentions. I am guessing that it is difficult for you to see things too clearly just now.
I suppose what I am saying is that you cannot take responsibility for others. Yes, you can point them in the right direction (help if they need it, advice if you can give it), but worry about yourself first. If you are well, you are stronger, see things clearer, and maybe be in a better position to help.
All the best.
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... magic_glitter
17 y
1,664
This is a reply to # 801,675I've suffered from anorexia as well. I've almost died from it. And I'm telling you, you should NOT be fasting while you have an eating disorder. You are putting yourself at great risk. It's your choice on whether you want to live or not, but hopefully you choose life. You have a great future ahead of you that you are letting an eating disorder steal away.
Maybe you should start looking for help with your eating disorder. You know you have one, you are only denying and attempting to hide the obvious by running away from it. Obviously you are already an unhealthy influence on your friend with your eating behaviour and weight.
Hence the quotation marks around "friend" - like I said before (and I do hope you re-read my first message and throughly consider it) you two seem more like competitors than real friends. Why are you discussing BMIs and letting your friend say how fat she is? Talk about celebrities.. movies.. the mall. Normal teen stuff! Don't play the "Omg I'm sooo fat!" game. Playing these games only leads to low self-esteem and a distorted body image.
Real friends do not care about external appearances. Real friends do not encourage competitions about weight (you are both doing this whether you want to believe it or not).
Once again, please talk to an adult about your and your friend's problem before your eating disorders get worse and become life-threatening.- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... #73079
17 y
1,552
This is a reply to # 805,978It is very difficult when you have a very active eating disorder to hear from someone who has more experience in healing then you do. But Magic Glitter is right, and I saw no malice in the post at all.
Part of the disorder itself is strong defense of it. We often use anger and shoving away (in all its' forms) to deny the truth to our Selves. Remember in all the information you read about ED, you have always heard that an active ED thinks they have it all under control - they BELIEVE it to be so - but that is an illusion created by the disease. So any remark about healing is seen by the active ED as a threat, or an insult. If I can hate you, then I don't have to listen to you. That may be why you are so angry at Magic Glitter for telling you, an ANOREXIC young lady, that you do not need to FAST...no parent, no truly emotionally healthy friend, no counselor would ever tell you to. You know this to be true, yet you can only see through the eyes of the disease.
It is my hope that you will indeed think about what is being said, and get some real help. You are not so special that you are exempt from the effects of this disease. You can die just like we can, from self-abuse. Good luck
PS sorry if this doesn't "cheer you up" but it is my job to tell you the Truth about what I see based on my experience. If we don't tell you, you could die - so realize that the people who will TELL YOU THE TRUTH are doing the highest most loving thing for you - and yes, my dear, I know you, for you are me.
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... magic_glitter
17 y
1,570
This is a reply to # 806,146Thanks #73079. You gave some great advice.
About anger and denial: When I weighed very, very little and my mom took to the doctor's, my doctor said I couldn't excercise or go to the gym anymore. I was so angry about that being taken away from me - I thought I would get "fat" without it. I lashed out and sulked because I couldn't admit that at my weight, exercise was more deathly to me than healthy. The same goes with fasting for you. You know when you're starving yourself you're at a greater risk of your heart stopping because your electrolytes are unbalanced? I also used to get heart palpatations all the time, and sometimes it would feel like my heart was clenching at night - I couldn't even breath when this happened. Don't let it get that far for yourself. It's scary, painful, and damaging to your body. And you have to live in that body for a while. You want it to operate properly and be healthy. You don't want dizzy spells, heart palpatations, mood swings and osteoporosis (among many others) for the rest of your life.
I started off just like you - in weight competitions with other people, trying to be "healthier" (ie. eating only fruits, ect.) and then it just escalated and everything snowballed to a point where I was completely out of control and my disorder had taken over my entire life. You seem to be at the point of escalating when you're considering something as extreme as fasting to lose weight, when you're already at a low weight.
The first step to to talk to a councellor. Please do so. You may be angry, but you're angry because I've hit a nerve: You know you have a problem, you just don't want to admit it.
It's hard to admit you have an eating disorder, I know that. You like to believe that you're in control and there's nothing wrong with you. Fact is, there's something VERY wrong with the thought pattens and behaviours associated with eating disorders. People are not supposed to starve themselves down to unhealthy weights. It will only get worse the longer you ignore the problem.
Once again, you have my best wishes.
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... magic_glitter
17 y
1,570
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... #73079
17 y
1,552
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... #68716
17 y
1,681
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... to that stage x
17 y
1,722
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... jamesmk2003
17 y
1,818
This is a reply to # 801,247I advise you to learn meditation to control your mind and body. Buddhist centre would be the best choice or zen or Brahma Kumaris (Rayjoga) is also very powerfull white energy.
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... #82181
17 y
1,436
This is a reply to # 801,247i would of just asked her why she was crying. leave the food part out of it.
25 is barely overweight. and if she plays sports or is muscular shes probably heavier because of that.
dont let others difficulties trigger you into a fast. diet sites cut off is a 20 bmi anyway (meaning you shouldnt lose more)
you guys can talk about emotional problems with each other...when shes stressed she goes for cookies..when you are stressed, you go for fasting. so maybe use that common ground to help each other find healthier options for your body and spirit.
- Re: Anorexia girl: made a friend fee... magic_glitter
18 y
1,797
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