Thanks so much for sharing this link!

It answered a lot of questions for me and shows me how I can survive the narcissitic in our family.

Old story, but I understand your point and the advise is well taken. HOWEVER, having a tremendous amount of experience with this (now that I know it HAS A NAME, hallelujah)I must tell you that not everyone can just "walk away."

There is also the most dangerous aspect of NPD- "narcissistic RAGE". The attacks I have suffered left me unable to walk away, even though I tried. If you do, make sure you have the support financially that you so richly deserve. I walked away with NOTHING; happy to just get away alive (I divorced my batterer for a 3 1/2 yr period.)

My injuries left me unable to effectively support myself. And I have NO FAMILY. Not one living, breathing human being who gave a damn about me. And I could not function in shelters; have been in three. I had suffered abuse at the hands of my mother, my brother....other boyfriends even, but nothing left me prepared for what was ultimately to come. I have suffered the most debilitating head injury imaginable.

After the divorce, I ended up homeless and on the brink of death. If one is either facing homelessness or going back to an otherwise charming NPD wretch, he/she can begin to look pretty good. Also, NPD IS VOLITIONAL. Read the NPD diagnostic criteria (www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html)....if it is "volitional", then doesn't that mean that change can take place?? (Plus, there was also the very real factor of "if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature. Many NPDs "get saved" to start that "lookin' good" process. Beware.)

There is little hope here.

I am not being physically abused and if anything comes out of his mouth that is verbally abusive, I quickly point it out. But again, not much hope.

One of the things I have noticed lately is "baby talk". If your NPD person can switch into "baby talk" as though they are harmless, don't fall for that BS. "Just a widdo harmwess baby"....what a load of crap. Even does it when he is praying, forcryinoutloud. These NPD's will do ANYTHING to look like anything but what they really ARE: meanevilbad&nasty people who can turn on you in a nanosecond.

Yes, it is wearisome to always have to be on alert. Sucks the life out of me. I came home to die, didn't die and so now I have to live with my choices. "If I won the lottery, I would be out of here by midnight TONIGHT" still stands!

that link is a great interview with dr vaknin. it was his site that i linked to when this forum got started. nobody knows like he knows.