What you and NoScale have said has stirred so many memories and feelings.

NoScale, I understand your dilemma, “On one level I'm proud of the progress I'm making, but on another level, I want to crawl back into baggy clothes and sit in a dark corner and have everyone look at someone else.”

The thing about weight is if you are at your ideal weight, people look; obese, people look; lose weight and people look; if you're a few pounds over, people look. Point is people look. It has been for me like wearing blinders; I didn't see them looking, so they weren't looking. Then, I started looking at me and thinking, "I need to change. I need to get healthy. I want to live."

Finally, I had this "revelation." If I can see myself, then others probably can see me. I know this sounds silly, but I feel like the small baby who discovered her hand; you've witnessed that. With each milestone in my life, I feel like the small baby who discovered her hand. Attending school, puberty, dating, marriage, having children and seeing their passages, menopause, becoming a grandparent are rites of passage. Why wouldn't a major health change qualify as a rite of passage?

Another rite of passage I would think is our evolving, revolving relationships. There are so many studies out about those "salivating guys at the office pulling the come hither thing." People often spend more time with their co-workers than with their spouses. Common interests and goals among people in a "closed environment" contracts friendships and job satisfaction. Opinions of office mates take on value. So, when we feel something positive has occurred in our lives because of a personal endeavor, we become vulnerable. We want that praise and adoration we believe we deserve because of our efforts at self-improvement. Our physical self-improvement is indistinguishably connected to our sexuality.

Look how many times a sexually-based event become a rite of passage. Puberty and menopause are the two biggies, and the others are sub headers. Throughout life, aren't we just trying to find our feet and check the firmness of the soil?

In this subject line is the question, "Are you a second or middle child?" According to what I've read in Dr. Kevin Leman's books, second child or middle child syndrome is peacekeeper, counselor, shy, reserved. The middle child is sandwiched in between the firstborn who is the leader and the last born who is the attention-grabber. A middle child would most likely be the one who would fit Molly's question, "Are you a very considerate person that never likes to hurt anyone's feelings?"

NoScale, you asked, "Do any of you feel like this? If so, how do you deal with it without trying to be unassuming and without being heavier?" Weight loss, rites of passage, and relationships all tie to our sexuality. We fear when our knowledge is inadequate and our faith is low. Change, that constant of life, limits our knowledge. We see ourselves, know our pasts, and learn from others. Our knowledge is power. Also, we continue to communicate with others and draw on their strengths. Our focus develops into increasing our faith in ourselves.