fledgling
Perhaps true essential oils, that have been properly made, would affect you more positively, Grzbear.
My best experiences have been with Young Living Essential Oils. That's where I got my 'education' (such as it is) in this field.
Attend a talk by one of their experts if you can.
Or you could seek the advice of a few aromatherapists. Best to avoid the chain stores, at least at first, I think.
You are looking for 'therapeutic quality', to see if those aromas suit you better than the scents you are now experiencing.
It takes about 20 years to become a 'nose', I read. A 'nose' is a person who has been carefully trained to notice the components and qualities of scents.
There are about 200 'noses' in the world today; about 150 of them are employed in the perfume industry.
Wouldn't it be nice if your wife explored this subject with you? You both seem to be interested.
My best,
fledgling