Dear Deotima, Oh goodness...

"You are the nicest woman I have ever known."
Why are those words SUCH bad news?
Yup, I've heard 'em too. They make me want to climb out the fire escape.
And no wonder.

Why to some men is "nice" the opposite of "sexually attractive"?

That's so sad. And it sounds like it was a total surprise too. Some men would have said "Let's explore some wonderful ways of keeping our relationship fresh and alive," and go join a hiking club or something. But nooooooooo...

Could very well be a mid-life thing going on for him. A 35 year old friend of mine was courted very powerfully by a very self-assured 24-year-old man who then freaked five years later when he was 29 and she turned 40. Like, what, he couldn't predict this? He couldn't ADD NUMBERS?

Oh stop me.
Anyway, whatever his motivation, the very center of the big picture now is wonderful you. And yes it's terrible, and I'd want to be under the bed for the next 3 months. On the other, today's 60 is really more like 40 used to be. And you obviously have some superior connection/option skills considering your talents.

So tell us about who is in your life now. Really fabulous Pyrenees Mountain Dogs who demand two long walks a day and make everyone on the street pet them and talk to you? Good gal friends? Supportive family?

Also, what is your next set of dreams - a new part of the world, a career change?

These might sound like frivolous questions, but maybe we can help you take stock.

Congratulations on your new pathways, and at the same time I'm way sorry that it's so hard...

Autumn