Relationship Problem 
Snake
22 y
2,054
I've been dating a newly divorced woman for a little over a year now. She had a rather difficult divorce (here ex was addicted to drugs and let his company fail). I have been divorced for five years ahd have three sons (ages 17,14, and 10). She has two sons (ages 14 and 11). Our relationship got off to a quick start physically and emotionally. She said I fulfilled her in all the ways her ex had not. We have very close emotional ties and are 'like fire' (her words) physically. Our kids get along wonderfully and we saw each other every weekend (with and without kids). We had a big argument in April and she broke off the relationship for a couple of weeks (told me not to call her for two weeks). After we started seeing each other again things got very close. She said she did not want a serious relationship whereas I did (and she knew it). The last weekend in June we had a wonderfull weekend. Neither of us had our kids that weekend. She called me to spend Friday night with her. She went to my son's baseball game that Saturday. We went out that Saturday night. Again I spent the night. Sunday we went shopping together and I cooked for her and her kids Sunday night. I have done so much for her and her kids. The next weekend she told me she was going to date other men and she had given her number to a guy that asked her out. On July 9 she said she wasn't going to see me any more becaause she didn't want to feel 'guilty' about seeing other men. She said it scared her that we were getting so close. She also said that she had married her husband without really dating other men and jumped right into a relationship with me after her marriage of 19 years had failed. She said she wanted to be sure about things and that she didn't love me (unconditionally like she did her ex). She said she does want to date other men. She says she wants some 'real time' to pass before we talk again. She said she was sorry that I am hurting and it isn't easy for her either but this is for the best. Should I consider this relationship over? Is there still a chance we could get back together once she has had her 'space' for a while? Was this just a rebound relationship? How could things change so suddenly? By the way, she is 39 and I a 47.
Please help,
Snake (her nickname for me)
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- Re: Relationship Problem Southern Belle
22 y
1,810
This is a reply to # 61,343Well, give her some space. Let her try her wings. If it's meant to be, she will realize you were right for her after all and come back. If not, it was never meant to be. In the meantime, you date, too! Don't sit at home waiting for her. Most women like a challenge. If she knows you are home waiting for her, she's got you right where she wants you. If you become unattainable, you then become desirable.
Make sense? - Re: Relationship Problem StarBrite
22 y
2,142
This is a reply to # 61,343Hello Snake,
Believe me when I tell you this, (I have been where you are) --give her TIME and SPACE. It sounds like a rebound situation. When you are suddenly alone, after many years of marriage, all you want is for someone to think you are still loveable and desireable. You have shown her this, she feels confident, and is now READY to experience her freedom.
I was in a two-year relationship after my divorce of 10-years, and the first person I dated (9-months after seperation) was a real sexy, caring, desireable man***everything my husband had lost. I thought HE was the ONE.( he had just seperated also)--- But after two-years and many talks of marriage, we both lost what we had. He became less, and less of what he was in the beginning. NOW, I regret many, many things. I guess that's why I'm STILL single (after 6-years). No one will EVER treat me that way again! I'm not a MAN-HATER now, HA HA, but I would suggest, going OUT, start dating, and just LEAVE her alone. LET HER make the first call, not you.
I hope this helps, let us know how you are doing!
XOXOXOX
StarBrite- Re: Relationship Problem #164471
22 y
1,709
This is a reply to # 61,345I agree with southern belle and starbrite. Just let her go....look around you...someone else may be looking back at you!!!
Good luck! - Re: Relationship Problem anonymouse
22 y
2,165
This is a reply to # 61,345Thanks for your support. It does help. She and I also discussed marriage. She was the first to bring it up. When she told me that she wanted to date other people she asked me if I was ready for marriage. I told her I would marry her 'in a heartbeat'. I guess that was a mistake because said the thought of marriage 'scared her to death'. Instead of backing off during all of this I pursued her more. I think that kind of pushed her away. She was going to still see me and also date other people, but I think she thought I might impede her healing process or quest for independence. She told me that here love for her ex was unconditional and true. That was the case until last year on the 4th of July when she was with me and realized she could never go back to the way she felt about him. She said she relied on me so much for so many things. She also said I was a great father and she trusted me with her kids. She said those things the night she broke it off with me. She also said it would be easier for her to break it off if there was a good reason (like something wrong with me). She cried when I left that night.
The bottom line is this has been so hard for me. I truly love here and like her kids. I miss the 'family' dinners we had together. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman. Even with the emotional roller coaster ride things were still good. She was always loving to me (and me to her) when we were around each other. I have called her a few times since the break up but she won't return my calls. Her kids won't even answer. I guess she told them not to answer my calls either. I guess I should just leave her alone and give her time like everyone says. Maybe she will realize we were good together and she does love me.
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- Re: Relationship Problem Southern Belle
22 y
1,750
This is a reply to # 61,349Hey Snake!
Where do you live? Since Starbrite is single, maybe you two could hook up!!!- To: Southern Belle.. StarBrite
22 y
2,027
This is a reply to # 61,354I almost choked on my popcorn when I read that!! Thanks for trying to 'set-me-up"
XOXOXO
StarBrite
P.S. Snake, where DO you live? *smile*- Re: To: Southern Belle.. Snake
22 y
1,674
This is a reply to # 61,355I live in near Atlanta, GA. I Live in Auburn, Ga and work in Norcross.
Snake- TO. Snake.. StarBrite
22 y
2,084
- To StarBrite Snake
22 y
1,996
This is a reply to # 61,359If you want to talk further you can email me: snake1207@hotmail.com. We're goning to fill up their web page with messages.
Snake- Re: To StarBrite//hey belle.. #164471
22 y
1,761
This is a reply to # 61,360southern belle...it looks like you have played 'match-maker' haha......how about it starbrite??? are you going for it?
- Re: To StarBrite//hey belle.. Southern Belle
22 y
1,758
- Re: To StarBrite//hey belle.. Southern Belle
22 y
1,758
- Re: To StarBrite//hey belle.. #164471
22 y
1,761
- To StarBrite Snake
22 y
1,996
- TO. Snake.. StarBrite
22 y
2,084
- Re: To: Southern Belle.. Snake
22 y
1,674
- To: Southern Belle.. StarBrite
22 y
2,027
- Re: Relationship Problem #164721
22 y
1,737
- Re: Relationship Problem Snake
22 y
1,871
This is a reply to # 61,358southern belle...it looks like you have played 'match-maker' haha......how about it starbrite??? are you going for it?
- Re: Relationship Problem #164721
22 y
1,868
This is a reply to # 61,362Well, this whole page was about you not knowing what to do about calling your 'ex-girlfriend', should you , or not. Alot of GOOD advice has been given, and you still want to know what to do!! Give me a break! (how old are you anyway, 16-18) YOU said she will not return your phone calls, and wants to see other people, well forget her, man***** Find someone that DOES want to be called and loved. """There are many fish in the sea""" Ring a bell? I agree with Lisa Lynn, call Starbrite!!! Could be a good thing!!! Who Knows?
- Re: Relationship Problem #164721
22 y
1,868
- Re: Relationship Problem Snake
22 y
1,871
- Re: Relationship Problem Southern Belle
22 y
1,750
- Re: Relationship Problem #164471
22 y
1,709
- Re: Relationship Problem mustang
21 y
1,755
This is a reply to # 61,343Good luck Snake;
Unfortunately you are like a lot of us good hearted honest dependable guys out here. I have been through some real tough break ups, and the only thing you can do is wish her well,and offer her the opportunity to come back when or if she should feel ready for your genuine attention and interest in her. I have recently fallen for a girl that I have only known for a couple months. She is still in love with someone else, and she is trying to move on from him. He calls her daily, up until two weeks ago when she had given him one choice" get back to where they were six months ago, or that she had a couple of guys that wanted to date her." Now I am in too deep, and she keeps her self away most of the week, and has started changing on me, less calls at night, and when I call her, her phone is off. These women need time and space to find themselves. Unfortunately, we walk in at the wrong time, and are subject to being hurt, and left behind. All I can say is that I feel a chill with my girl, and I have to break my pattern of getting involved with emotionally damaged women. They find me, and my attention gets thier interest. I have found that I am a great security blanket, and when they finally get all warmed up, they take me off and move on. Remember that there really is a right one out there for you. Learn to play it safe with your emotional contact. Ask more women out, and don't stay home by the phone. I am still with my girl, though I feel a chill in the air and am starting to wonder if she has allready started with someone new while with me. I am holding off on asking her, fearing that she will say I am pushing her, and then she will end us. I am keeping my eyes open, and if she is hooking up, again, I will have let my self get hurt. Good luck setting her free.......
- Re: Relationship Problem Southern Belle
22 y
1,810
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