I hear you, sister
I am overweight and 43 yo.

Unfortunately there is indeed a double standard. Studies have shown repeatedly that for men, the most important factor in choosing a partner is looks, because they are programmed to spread their genes to women who will produce healthy offspring, and if a woman looks healthy and young she is more likely to give him healthy children. For women, a man is very attractive if shows that he has the resources and power to protect her and her future children. Physical appearance is of course highly rated as well, but, as you have noticed, often it is the more powerful/richer man who gets the beautiful woman.

Also the waist to hip ratio indicates the health and fertility of a woman: "WHR is considered to be factor in judging female attractiveness. Women with a 0.7 WHR (waist circumference that is 70% of the hip circumference) are often rated as more attractive by men, regardless of their culture, race, religion, ethnicity or any other subjective factors. Such diverse beauty "icons" as Marilyn Monroe, Twiggy, Sophia Loren, Kate Moss, and the Venus de Milo all have ratios around 0.7 despite having significantly different weights. Consequently, there is strong evidence to suggest that from an evolutionary perspective humans use subtle biological cues, such as WHR, to indicate mate potential and fertility."

A big waist (i.e. abdominal fat) indicates to the subconscious male visual perception that either the woman is already pregnant, or is close to menopause, so decreased fertility.

I strongly suggest you get the book "Supervixen" by Negrita Jayde, she talks about how important a woman's curves are, even if she is overweight she has the potential to improve her symmetry and become more attractive to men.

Of course, following the suggestions here on curezone to lose fat permanently is the best solution.

Hi #65224

There are many men that are attracted to large women and a friendly personality.

If you have already prejudged all men, you may be turning them off with your attitude :(

But there is a turn off point when a person is grossly overweight like Dolly Dimples, it then presents obstacles if you are honest with yourself. Obstacles such as every day duties plus sex life.
I have seen people so overweight that they had problems reaching private parts in the bath or on the potty, it is then unhealthy and unattractive.

We are not all born with the same metabolism or cut from the same cookie cutter.
I happen to be thin, but I was born with a metabolism that I could always eat anything and any amount without gaining weight. Everybody is not blessed with that metabolism.

Those that ritually and continuously go on starvation orange juice or lemon juice fasts without nutrients is just another form of anorexia, and dangerous in long term.
Even when they become a skeleton and think they more attractive while pointing the finger at a larger woman. They should point the finger at their poor health.

Im responsing not reading any posts but yours, so here goes..
I would say that what you are saying is true in a sense.. but I met my hubby online and he is a fit, gorgeous man. He married me at 238 lbs and I got to 267 before I started thinking that wasnt good for my health and changed my eating habits. We have been married 7+ years and he never once didnt have sex with me because of my weight..all this to say this.. if you are with a man that cares about you he will look past that and love you for who you are the way you are. A man that doesnt is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!!!!! I will say this as well.. I notice that our sex life has improved since I have dropped 77 lbs and you know why? Its because I am more confidant in myself now and therfore willing to take more risks and be more assertive. If there is one single answer to your question, I would say its that last statement in a nutshell.

Unfortunate for you and others,most men are VISUALLY DRIVEN. Curvacious women are HIGHLY AROUSING. Because of this, they may be missing a great woman. It's good to hear you are working on your weight. With all the fast food places around, there will be thousands/ millions of overweight people around. So, it just isn't you. Working on it for health reasons is reason enough.Unfortunately, it has to be a life long commitment to eating whats right for you, getting it off and keeping it off. Diets don't work...changing lifestyle does. I wish you luck....you can do it, even if it is only one pound a week to start.Watch it carefully and no cheating. Don't give up...a man is waiting for you who will love you for the right reasons.....not all physical.

Honestly, it's nature. People are attracted to health, period. It's the number one factor in sexual attraction. This has NOTHING to do with men being shallow or anything like that.

I'm not a therapist, but I'd say you should work out your weight issues before your relationship issues, as being overweight is unhealthy and could harm you whereas no sex likely won't kill you as fast.

Oh, and you see overweight men with beautiful women because these men have money. Women don't have the same attraction to men as men do to women. In my experience, women look for someone that can take care of them financially and emotionally. Now, if he's fat and poor and a bad listener, he likely has a massive schlong! I'm sorry to be so frank, but it's the truth as I see it.

Quite a few black women are fat. I mean REALLY fat. And black men are reportedly known for their virility. So what have we got here? Have you tried black? They say, once you've had black, you'll never go back.

I'm not having sex either. But it's not because I'm fat; it's because I'm old and ugly. You don't hear me complaining! At least you can do something about your situation, whereas I'm stuck with what genetics and time have done to me.

If you were a thin woman with a moustache but no breasts you'd be saying that men go for the curvy women.

Too thin and a moustache = too masculine to be a partner
Too fat = problems of a physical nature as a human being
I'm not defending those ways of thinking, but I reckon they're quite common.

Having said that, though, plenty of fat women are happily married. As are plenty of flat-chested women with moustaches.