Call the Alcoholic's Anonymous phone number in your local phone book. Tell them you need to attend a meeting of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous and they will tell you when and where a meeting is. Go to the meeting and see if you can identify with the stories you hear there. Get a sponsor, attend many meetings and work the steps.

Good luck.

Blueduck

i would suggest trying a spiritual discipline where you can learn techniques to move the energy to the heart consciously, so that the awareness becomes centered in the higher spheres.
http://www.pranayama.org/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=TEC...
the techniques are available free of charge with a suggested donation if you feel like it.it may take time to feel the force but as i practise myself i find its worth it. also being creative with anything, like playing the guitar etc will help redirect the energy.
all the best

It is possible to overcome this, although it may be hard to see that while you're enmeshed in it...but it involves some big sacrifices (at least for a little while). The biggest factors I found that aggravated this condition were idleness -not having anything else important in your life to keep yourself actively engaged; being around girls too much - which further stimulates fantasies; and watching too much tv (or internet) - passively fantasizing. If you turn off the tv, stay away from girls, and keep yourself busy with something useful you will be amazed at how much control you can develop over yourself in just a few weeks. You may have to make some difficult choices to accomplish this and avert the temptations (eg move away from your current home and the unhealthy relationships you've developed, join an all-male sports team, throw out your tv and disconnect your cable, etc). Diet is also a consideration: foods high in protein (especially meat) will make the problem worse, so try cutting back. Once you've developed a good degree of self-control, you can gradually start introducing some of the above stimulants back into your life in small doses. How long this takes will depend on how long you've lived you're current lifestyle. Old habits will die when they're replaced by healthy ones, but this may be a long time for habits that are deeply entrenched. Only after all of this, can you look at developing a healthy, meaningful relationship with a girl.
Hope that helps - I know it did for me!
xdw

>>>it makes me sad to think i cant really love anyone but only focus on the lust and perversion.....i tell myself im waiting to date anyone seriously until i move to Europe which will hopefully be soon as i have a problem with American female mentality especially after age 20 with the materialistic memememe attitude etc...i could elaborate more but im curious if anyone out there has dealt with similar problems and has been able to work it out better so you could function more on other aspects of your life? much thanks
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the use of sex for mere selfish gratification is so... very shallow... and anyone that uses sex in such a fashion is merely cheating themselves... were i you... i would strive to remain celebate... and wait for that special someone... otherwise you are ruining your chances of ever finding and holding onto the one of your dreams when she does come along... so i would have to agree with the above posts that suggest getting help... either through yoga... or the SA program... i think you are going to discover that your problem is of a spiritual nature... in that you are being purely selfish and unable to consider the needs of others...

there is absolutely nothing more wonderful... or sexually gratifying than two bodies in love coming together in love... when each party is intent... and so in tune to each other... that they inspire each others desire to higher and higher levels... "love" is the key that makes sex become a thing of exquisite beauty... when the spirit of love and flesh entertwine...

"lust" on the other hand... is nothing more than fantasy... self gratification... and after your pleasures have been satisfied you are more or less left holding the bag... an empty bag at that... for you have only satisfied your beastly desires... and are left spiritually bankrupt... with out love... without feelings... other than the few brief seconds of animal pleasure...

what most people fail to realize is that deepest satisfaction and pleasure comes from the desire to give pleasure to ones mate rather than seeking ones own pleasure... which hold true for that old saying... "tis better to give than to receive"...