Your life should be made into a movie! Blew me away.

You have come so far in your life. You have so much to be thankful for. What you need to do is to sit down and write down all the positive things about your life. There's a lot more than you are thinking. Then write down all the negative things, but focus on the positive.

Find something to laugh about everyday even if it means laughing at yourself. Get some sunshine everyday. Try to walk just a little everyday.

Have you considered any type of inward body cleansing? Liver Flushing would help flush away a lot of your pain. Your liver stores your emotions, you know.

I am not going to get into your feeling the need for a man or the need for a woman. I think once you begin to love yourself, the rest will just fall right into place. I think your main problem is that you just don't love yourself.

I would also suggest placing your post in the relationship forum. You will get a lot more replies.

I will say a prayer for you.

Good luck and better health to you!
Paulette G.

Oops, the above post went too quickly..
Some years ago I, too, used to have this desparate feeling for affection, can be quite frustrating indeed when one is not in a relationship and also does not want to act out of desparation.
The answer for me was not to depend on the outside so much but fill my inside spiritually, or better, to get in touch with my core being, the loving, divine, peaceful space inside. This can be accomplished in various ways, see what works for you... I do meditation and also different visualization exercises daily. One of them is with each inhalation imagining a golden stream coming from above through my head into my heart, filling my heart space. With each exhalation I imagine this golden energy permeating my body, and extending beyond my physical body , filling the energy space around me. Some days I use the healing colour green. For a while I worked with spiritually upliftng chants, such as " See me, Feel me , Touch me, Heal me" while using visualixation with the chant.
Experiment, see what you like.
Wishing you can get in tough with your sense of inner completeness.

If you plan on posting your concerns in the relationship as was suggested, be aware that responses can be somewhat negative and unnurturing. You may want to check out some responses to other posters before posting there to see if it is your cup of tea.

Hi:

I remember a time, a long time ago now, when I was so lonely I felt as if I was the only person in this world alive. When I couldn't stand it any longer I thought what can I do? Then I decided since I was so hopelessly miserable I figured maybe there were some others who were lonely too, and I began to write letters to everyone I knew.

Suddenly I felt so invigorated for having done something that somebody would appreciate that I forgot about myself and being lonely and miserable. It feels good to do something for somebody. I am sure you can think of something especially this time of year.

When we begin to count our blessing, suddenly there is joy. Think of what you can do for others to bring a little sunshine into their lives, soon you will feel revitalized with a realization of your inner wealth. Rember only those who have can give. We don't know how much we can give until we do. Take back the power over you feelings and listen to the spirit within, the one who rejoices when we do good. Giz.