My cutting would usually go in phases because I'd try to not do it for awhile and then it would get bad. This was over a period of several years with about a 2 year period where it was really bad.

I thought that like my depression, it was because of some deep psychological sickness that I of course was to scared to talk to anyone about. I thought that's just how I was - crazy, and I had no idea that other people did it too. I thought it was something so bad that neither drugs or therapy could help. I was WRONG. Well, I was right about the drugs/therapy thing not being the answer, but I was dead wrong in thinking I was crazy.

Now maybe I'm totally off-base here so I will only tell you what MY theory about all this cutting business is.

But first, the other views: I have read about this subject - there is a book called "Cutting" that I read, and everything I have read from standard medicine is hogwash, in my opinion. These guys haven't a clue, not a glimmer of an inkling that they are looking in all the wrong places to define this illness. They lump it with Depression and psychosis and "pre-suicidal" impulses. And so their way of treating it is as western medicine would treat these things: Scorn, psychological counseling (laughable since they don't know what causes it), and of course heavy heavy drug pushing. They whip out their DSM-IV and lump it in with some other problem.

So how did I heal myself completely? It was sort of a backwards approach. First, I cured the affliction. Then, I sat back and figured out how I did it.

Ali's Grand Theory:

Cutting is a disease of blockage and toxicity. It is not primarily psychological in nature, it is PHYSIOLOGICAL. It is your body, simply trying to survive.

What happens is, when you are in pain from Depression (blockage and toxicity), one of your bodies' DEFENSE mechanisms is to seek ways to get the old endorphins going. Endorphins are our natural pain killers. And somehow, even though we may not be in physical pain, the body is trying to tell us that SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT in our system. We are in mental pain (perhaps blockage of neurotransmitters) which although it doesn't hurt like a broken arm, is still mentally and emotionally painful, as anyone who's been through this can attest. So, you cut to alleviate the pain temporarily.

So the good news is that you're not crazy! It's just your body giving you some signals! That is why you get the feeling of soothing afterwards. That satisfaction. Lovely endorphins. Endorphins that are blocked and need a very harsh stimulus to release more. That harsh stimulus is the cutting. Your body prioritizes things it needs to deal with, and when you cut and have an open wound, your brain says "aha, Code red" and it can for a short time release more endorphins than it normally would.

How to heal:

Strictly the awesome Curezone protocols, CLEANSE. Cleanse your heart out. Cleanse all those blocked receptors. Most of your serotonin is produced in the gut so you want to start a Bowel Cleanse first. What worked for me was Dr. Schulze 's Intestinal formulas #1 and #2. Bowel cleansing is absolutely crucial.

- Get nutrition that is ABSORBABLE in your system. Chances are, you are so toxic that you may have trouble assimilating nutrients even if you do change your diet. What worked for me was Dr. Schulze 's Superfood. Also get a juicer and start juicing! Juice using things like parsely, raw organic garlic and ginger.

- Start liver flushing! Your liver cleans your blood. Flush every 2 weeks until you stop getting stones out.

- Other things to consider are the Water Cure and rebounding and if you persuse this site there are many more. Also read about foods that kill .

- Most importanly, LOVE YOURSELF. Honor your body as it is going through this process, thank it for giving you this wonderful warning that it is toxic. I know I railed on all the psychology crap above, but I do want to underscore how important it is and what a relief it will be to go through this process knowing that YOU ARE OK and a good person who just has a body that needs detoxifying.

As soon as I started detoxing, the cutting stopped. This was 3 years ago. Rub vitamin E oil on the scars (I just get the capsules and bite them open) or whatever and use that time that you are massaging in the oil to pay honor to your body and to thank it and love it.

Blessings to all cutters,

Ali

Please contact Andreas Moritz ("Ask Andreas" forum). I believe he can give you the help you are seeking.

Prayers and good wishes to you.

I have worked with a number of people that cut on themselves... From their prospective, it comes down to CONTROL. (ie) The cutting is a type of pain that they can control.. and for most, its a way of feeling in control or distracting from the untouchable or vague INTERNAL pain from past hurts, anger, pain, abuse, etc. (that pain..the internal pain, they can't control, cant make it stop and can't 'fix' it.. But the physical cutting is a type of pain that THEY INFLICT and can control the intensity of or the amount of pain... Plus it is much easier to focus on the expernal pain (of cutting) as a means of avoiding, distracting and feeling powerless over the internal pain. SOmething to think about

i think it's fair to say that there are many
different reasons why people cut themselves,
and at one point you will stumble upon someone's
story that relates EXACTLY to yours,
so it's great to have all of these opinions here

one other opinion is this:
i use to cut a lot when i was little(7-12),
and then kind of stopped, and then started
again when i got a bit older(early 20's)...
and had a recent bout with it too, and i'm
28 now

and for me it's the inability to express
verbally all the internal turmoil and pain...
there simply are no words that suffice,
and the other big part of it is not feeling
HEARD...feeling invisible, MISUNDERSTOOD...
that is of course because i'm going to the
wrong places to be heard

and so when there is an acute situation where
a lot of emotional/pychological pain is involved
(a bad relationship, let's say)...
then this inability to be heard and 'understood',
this 'old friendly habit', kicks in and for
or me, i hurt myself...be it cutting or
other bodily physical hurt(punching a wall, let's say)

and i agree with the person that wrote
that it's an external manifestation of internal
hurt...it's just visually proves that you hurt,
cause you can't see the insides that feel
all razored up, but you can sure see them on
the outside...on some level it's like saying,
'See! i hurt!!'

so...please take care of yourself and
i hope you can find an understanding
that works for you