Please understand that I'm not trying to be flip or condescending but 15 is a tough age to be. At 15, I, too, felt a lot of the same feelings you are now feeling. Just wondering--do you consider yourself to be shy and introverted? If so, it is harder to make friends and mix with others--I know. Don't be so hard on yourself. I remember many summers when I felt lonely, too. Since I never had a big circle of friends (2 or 3 if I was lucky)when one went on vacation, it often meant that I had no one to hang out with. From reading your letter, I pick up that you want to make changes and seem motivated to do so. Being half Hispanic, I know what it is like to feel out of place. And it just wasn't non-Hispanics either that made me feel that way. However, what I've learned is that where ever you go, you will always find people who are prejuidced, or who don't like you or don't want to talk to you for whatever reasons. You need to see that these people aren't worth knowing. Take time to talk to people--maybe you'll click, maybe you won't but don't let it stop you from trying. I understand your experience at church. My parents took us to a church where most of the congregation was rich and the kids all went to private schools. My brothers and I felt like we didn't belong. We told our parents that but they still made us go. Have you tried telling your parents how you feel about church? If you have and they still make you go, you will have to tough it out. Not ideal, but trust me, you will get through it. Lastly, I know this sounds cliched but when the school year starts, consider joining a club that interests you. Easier said than done, I know, since some cubs are so cliquey. Like any school, you will get a feel for which clubs are best for you.

Hey Lonely76,

Sounds like you painted yourself into a corner. It is all too easy to talk yourself into believing people don't like you and you don't have friends. Negaitive think is self promoting. Try talking to your parents and other family members about your concerns/thoughts. If you find that hard then perhaps you could speak to your doctor etc.

There are so many things you could try..the obvious one is to re-establish contact with your good friend at the first church you mention. Call him up and arrange something, start rebuilding that link. Gradually work your way back into the Church, yeah sure you will have to surf the initial wave of insecurity and feeling uncomfortable.

The truth is you are at the age when old friendships move on and new ones are forged. If you don't try to keep the old ones alive then they will wither. Perhaps you need to make new ones. You mention that you play soccer. Find and join a local club. That is probably the best way to make new friends.

You could also consider a summer job. Working with other people of your own age is a good way of making friends and you will have some money too!

If you are feeling very negative about yourself, then please seek help now. Don't let it fester.

Best wishes.

Firstly i would say you are a very mature person, and i wish i was as wise as you are at 15. As we grow older there are allways certain events which happen in our lives which take us in a new direction, sometimes they are wanted changes sometimes they are not, and other times they are unexpected, suddenly taking us by surprise leaving us wondering how we got to this point in our lives when things used to be so different, which is where i expect you are now.

It sounds to me as thou you were holding onto the past and didnt want to embrace change, it almost seems as thou you were punishing your friend for having new friends by not going to his party. Maybe you didnt like the fact that because he had new friends he wouldnt spend as much time with you anymore. You said at some point he got the impression you werent friends anymore which seems like it wasnt only the party but other events which caused you both to drift apart. When you first met did you used to hang out just you and him? but later on he made new friends and you just wanted to hang out with him and not other people too.

It seems like you really value friendship and that when you make friends with someone you want to be really good friends with them, or as you put it 'form strong relationships'. It seems to me as thou this is the issue as i dont think you would have any problems meeting or talking to new people and i also think people do like you, as you said sometimes people message you from your old church so obviously they do think about you. Deep friendships take along time to develop and dont just happen over night, you cant expect everyone to be your best friend, but that doesnt mean you cant make friends with people. If people didnt want to know you they would just completely ignore you which is not the case, but just because they dont want to spend all their time with you and see other people doesnt mean they like you any less than they did. There is a good saying that goes, if you try and be everything to everyone you will end up being nobody to noone.

You know when you get to college then university the same thing will happen, the old friends you made make new friends and you make new friends as we all go in different directions. I have learnt from experience that when something goes wrong in our lives to learn from it, see the positive side, and move on. It will make you a stronger and wiser person. But if you keep worrying about what you did wrong and what you should have done you will allways be stuck in your past, and if your stuck in the past you cant move on into the future.

It seems to me as thou you have learnt from your mistakes and are ready to move on, you realise that if you dont make new friends you will be alone and dont want that. Just remember not everyone you meet will be your best friend, there are different levels of friendship which all take varying amounts of time to develop.

Dont hate yourself, if you hate yourself how can other people like you when you dont even like yourself.

People do care, if they didnt care they would just ignore you.

Not everyone has a best friend, and those that do took time to develop

You are worthy of friends, just because you may not be the most popular person at school doesnt mean your not worthy of friends.

Dont say that you are GOING to make new friends say you WILL make new friends, by saying going to you are still in your comfort zone and putting it off until later. My advice is dont wait, do it now this summer, go meet your friends at the old church and dont make excuses just do it.

I'm a 52 year old male that has suffered 51 yrs. of suicidal depression. I have been a Christian for the last 20 years and will always love God very much, but alot of church doctrine is very neglectful of the pains and sorrows of the heart, no one in the church should ever have let you be lonely.

Many of the experiences you mention were very much like mine when I was your age, but, believe me, if you don't address them now, they get worse, not better. Man, as being made in God's image (innocent, truthful, etcetera, meant to live in a paradise) will just naturally find this world of corruption and hostility to be very harsh. Some get used to it, others with a more tender heart (like yourself) refuse to because they prefer to still live in that paradise (ease up on yourself, you prefer God's ways).

You can "feel" loneliness more than most people (that walk past you) because you are a very loving person and you can see that this world is not all fantastically beautiful because you are smart (wisdom). There is alot about you that would make you a person that others would want as a friend. Don't be scared. You will even sometimes notice that some people will (subconsciously) feel uncomfortable around you because they sense that, by comparison, they are not "all that". You are a genuinely righteous person (not SELF-righteous, but humble to conscience, you know, the tree that Adam and Eve ate from). Get to know who you are, that is the only way we can live happy lives (after all, we were made in the image of "I am who I am", Exodus 3:14).

Learn to be comfortable with SELF and accept yourself, then others will accept you too.

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandmother, so here is my advice and i have given this advice to both my grandsons who are older than you. Go to the library and see if the have the book THE SECRET, if not and you have the money go buy it. This is the best book I have ever read in my 65 yrs of age. It is a small book and easy to read.
Good luck to you. Your day and life will be what you make it you are in charge of you.
grandma