I'm sorry to hear about your suffering.

I really don't think it is a good idea to abandon the medication unless your situation has improved greatly and you've discussed it with your doctor. Even once it has improved, you'll likely need to wean off of it over many months. Some people need to do it so slowly that it takes years. I have more on this if you are interested.

Have you tried various dietary changes? For example, can you expect your brain to work well if you are feeding it junk foods?

Have you tried any supplements?

The following come to mind but you should keep your doctor in the loop. It would be best if some med pro was guiding you, but good luck finding one, especially since you are already on meds. There is quite a bit of medical politics involved.

You may find some of this to be interesting. If you can afford to visit a semi-natural Functional Med doctor, you will likely discuss some of the following and more. Dr Hyman is an example of a FM doc. You'll hear that his perspective on mood related difficulties is different than mainstream docs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkxk7nod33o

Magnesium: The Safe First Line of Defense for Clinical Depression
http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/magnesium-safe-first-line-defense-clinical-depression

Check out the US RDA of magnesium, then supplement accordingly. Besides its calming effect it is required for over 300 metabolic reactions in the body. The glycinate form has an additional calming effect, so does the sulfate form (epsom salt) since those ligands also have calming effects on the body--more on that if requested. http://www.ancient-minerals.com/magnesium-deficiency/need-more/

Learn about supplements containing low dose lithium. This assumes you are not on the high dose lithium medication.

Lithium orotate: Can this naturally occurring alkali metal cure your mental woes? 2013
http://www.naturalnews.com/042469_Lithium_orotate_mental_health_nutritional_supplement.html

Should We All Take a Bit of Lithium?
9/2014 By Anna Fels, psychiatrist and faculty member at Weill Cornell Medical College
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/14/opinion/sunday/should-we-all-take-a-bit-of-lithium.html

Lithium: The cinderella story about a mineral that may prevent alzheimer's disease
https://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/articles-1/2016/2/22/lithium-the-cinderella-story-about-a-mineral-that-may-prevent-alzheimers-disease

The "stuff" in fish oil is needed for brain repair. I think people who actually have a diagnosable problem need to take at least two capsules per day with a meal.

Treating ADHD naturally: The Science says Omega-3s make a difference
https://www.naturalnews.com/2017-10-09-treating-adhd-naturally-the-science-says-omega-3s-make-a-difference.html

Omega-3s boost blood flow to regions of the brain responsible for learning and memory 2017 Dr Amen
http://www.naturalnews.com/2017-05-25-confirmed-omega-3s-boost-blood-flow-to-regions-of-the-brain-responsible-for-learning-and-memory.html

10 ways to easily boost your serotonin levels and live a happier life
http://www.naturalnews.com/2017-06-12-10-ways-to-easily-boost-your-serotonin-levels-and-live-a-happier-life.html

The amino acid GABA. It may be the most important anti-anxiety brain chemical.
http://raysahelian.com/gaba.html

Are your sex and thyroid hormones okay? Don't expect your mainstream doc to do anything about these.

B vitamins can be helpful; however some people become more agitated with B12 and other Bs.