Hello fellow forumgoer!
I feel there is an intense physiological link between the state of the body and the odd cravings that come up inside.
If you have a history where at any time there was violence carried out around you (even in the womb), those emotional connections can be laid out in the forming pathways, both in the brain and the parasympathetic nervous system. It's not unusual for emotions and physical malfunctions to be tied up together.
To name a few-
Breast Cancer and unforgiveness in a middle-aged woman. She was under treatment with chemotherapy with her doctor, but was aware of the christian practice of prayer for healing, and started the process with her sister. A few days after their prayers the woman with cancer got the result in her mind that there was a connection between her resentment and unforgiveness to someone who had wronged her in the past, and it had set roots in her breast. So she set about the process of getting rid of the resentment and unforgiveness.
Two weeks later for her control visit at the oncologist's, the doctors were very surprised to find that her tumor had shrunk by a percentage they first expected to see at three to four months along in the process of treatment.
That story is from October of 2016, I heard it firsthand.
The next example is from a man here on CZ, who explains his experience of loosing his desire for sex with men after
parasite cleansing: 'Turpentine cured me of being gay'
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2320639#i
Very oogly-boogly sort of stories, I know, but my point is that an event, an emotion or an external organisim can be at the root of an otherwise awkward, unwanted, or inexplicable part of your personality/thoughts.
With thoughts that stir up about violence, there is the possibility of an issue with lead.
"Yes, lead poisoning could really be a cause of violent crime"
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jan/07/violent-crime-lead-poisoning-british-export
"Lead poisoning and Violent Crime in the Early Twentieth Century"
https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/jfeigenbaum/files/feigenbaum_muller_lead_crime.pdf
There are a few other accounts of changes in mental status and
parasite cleansing here on CZ, it's enlightening to say the least, what you can discover.
For some, different cleanses and changes in diet are the beginning of the road to release from recurrent and unwanted cycles of thought / and or emotion.
For some, meditation and prayer accomplish the desired result quickly.
For some, it can take time (often years) to allow oneself to imagine things can change.
I pray you take the wiser path and choose to fight the friggin' bastard and root out the thought at the root. ;-)
If you are the systematic type and want to go at it the medatative way, I can reccommend the lectures of this neurophsyiologist, Dr. Caroline Leaf - here's a youtube playlist of her lectures.
https://youtu.be/U38eiCOy0Ow?list=PLLcIvtte8vgjwJESt3W7o8LE0WpYzOwVF
I do reccommend simple, honest prayer to get instruction for your path forewards. Learning techniques to use both here and from experienced people is a valuable resource, but nothing is as precious as personal, customized guidance you can trust.
That is my experience.
Jesus has been steadfast and trustworthy, and that's the story of my journey. ;)