Was I anally raped? 
Jesscake
9 y
3,213
† Cross †
Okay I apologise if this is graphic and triggery for people.. but its all relevant and i have been crying for 3 hours about this going out my mind.
Last night my boyfriend had been drinking and he opened up about his difficult childhood and then had a mental breakdown, breaking his knuckles on a wall and breaking all our mugs in the cupboard before leaving in no shoes for an hour at 3.30am.
Well, he ended up blaming me for everything and being really mad, (''you could have stopped me punching that wall my hands broken because of you!'') before calming down and apologising and we resolved it and went to sleep.
This morning we woke up and he initiated sex, which was fine, though i was aware he was still angry with me, but half way through he withdrew from me and rammed himself into my rectum dry, and proceeded to finish himself off that way. now, he knows i dont enjoy anal sex, but occasionally i do it with him if we have lube and we take it slow (it still hurts but once in a while i know he really loves it so we do it)..but he just sort of held me tight so i couldnt move and violently had dry anal with me. I didnt say no because i was shocked, i didnt see it coming. but i was crying the whole time and making pained noises. its hours later (this happened at about 9 this morning and its now 9 at night and he is at work) and i am leaking blood and feces out and i am in agony.
after he finished he withdrew and just went 'you okay? did i hurt you? sorry.' and carried about his day..
i didnt specifically say no but he knows how much it hurts and that i only do it like twice a month with lube and slowly built up to, or sometimes if i am drunk. and i was sobbing all the way through and wriggling away.
was it rape? did he do it because he was mad with me for not stopping him punching a wall (a wall he punched when he stormed out the house and i didnt know where he was)? we have been together for 2 and a half years and it has only happened once before..
he watches p 0 r n with titles like ''girl drugged and raped'' and ''daddy rapes daughter'' this i have only found out recently. also..there were rumours his ex spread saying he anal raped her and i never believed..but..:(Advertisement
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- Re: Was I anally raped? #68716
9 y
3,782
RN Educational
This is a reply to # 2,236,770
I am SO sorry that you've had this painful, humiliating, and degrading experience. Only you know whether or not you were "raped," and I use quotation marks " " because there is a legal definition, and a moral definition.
What might be important to note here is that the boyfiend expresses a distinct interest in abusing and objectifying women. Blaming you for his actions is a very, very typical behavior of an abuser.
If it were me (and, it has been), I would go to the emergency room, immediately, seek medical attention, and tell anyone who will listen what happened. It sounds as if you are living with a typical abuser, and it will never, ever, ever "get better." He is violent and volatile, and you cannot "save" this person or "help" him. He is what he is, and you are NOT responsible for his abuse. It will only get more violent and degrading until you'll wake up one morning as a complete shell of a human being and wonder where your life went. I know this from personal experience.
Check out the websites, below, to confirm that you are being abused, and do something about it. You are precious in this vast Universe, and nobody can take your place. You are valuable just as you are and it is far, far better to be without a partner and sort ourselves out so that we can pick and choose a healthy partner that will enhance our lives, not define it.
www.thehotline.org
www.rainn.org
www.familyarrested.com
www.180rule.com
Please.........please, please............you sound as if you are young enough to take this terrible experience as a wakeup call and make your own Self the most important thing on this planet before some man. You do not have to tolerate anything to "hold onto" or please anyone. You are precious to this world, and you just don't know it, yet, or you don't believe that you deserve better. You have an option to take the route of self-love and self-worth rather than taking the path of self-loathing and abuse as I did. It's a dark, dark, dark path with an abuser, and an almost impossible cesspool to wade out of. But, once you're out, you never have to go back.
Brightest blessings to you
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- Re: Was I anally raped? glaxony
9 y
2,421
This is a reply to # 2,236,770Yes it was rape and you need to press charges. He will be happier in prison anyway. I had a husband who used to hit me and give me black eyes. He did it many times. I never reported him. After we got divorced I had a boyfriend who slapped me. I also had a therapist who told me that I needed to press charges because as long as I let men get away with hitting me, they would keep on doing it. So I pressed charges. A few months later I ran into him and he thanked me. He said the judge made him go to an anger management class and it was the best thing that ever happened to him. No man has ever hit me since. Perhaps they would let you drop the charges if you don't want to go to prison. But he needs a wake up call.Advertisement
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- Re: Was I anally raped? #68716
9 y
3,782
RN Educational
