Hi there,

I have done lots of reading about narcassism, and I am really sure, I'd say 95% sure my on/off boyfriend of 6 months is a narcassist. I've seen letters though that suggest he may have aspergers so It's put doubt in my mind slightly that he may have this instead. But I'm trying to hang on to the way this guy makes me feel, hurt all the time, he blames me for everything, we got back together recently and spent 3 whole days together, then I discover the soon as he left mine he went onto an online dating thing and messaged a woman saying ''you look alright, i'll see you''.

Also, he's a recovering heroin addict, he went through my phone one night (at a time I'd just discovered I'd been given 2 months to leave my home as the landlord wants to do it up)he knew how stressed I was and instead of helping me he caused me more stress. So the next night, I decided to do the same back and I found that he had been messaging men arranging to meet at a train station in exchange for sexual encounters. He denied meeting any of them and said he did it so that he could get phone credit from them. There was no sign of any messages mentioning phone credit or money! whenI questioned him on it he said ''He was an easy target''. What kind of a person says that?! maybe if he was still using I could understand it,but he says he's not, and he's just bought a lap top and doesn't seem short of cash,so why?!

and of course, it's all my fault, the woman on the dating site was because he didn't think I'd stick around and he said it but didn't feel it in his heart! he said.

What is wrong with me to love this man?! why am I so obsessed with him, I constantly ring him, want to know what he's up to etc. At first, he used to come into Oxfam where I worked, I was warned by the women that he chats up lots of women, and after I left he was asking about me, but I thought he'd make a nice mate to have. We saw each other in the street a few months after I left and exchanged numbers, I was clear that I only wanted friendship but he didn't seem to hear me, then one day we both drank alcohol and we messed about, he went around telling everyone everything in the small town we live. (but his version of course)which were all delusional lies.

I need help to stay away fro this guy,I really do. I feel incapable of doing it by myself. I moved to a new place on my own and don't know many people,and it's coming up to Christmas which bring up a lot of bad memories for me, and I feel so alone. I believe he stole some money from me too, which, of course, he hasn't taken any responsibility for or admitted to. He misses his part in everything and tells people how bad I am, even saying I stalk him! which I just can't believe, as I haven't, he says I went off with other men to people (when in fact he's the only guy I've been with since I met him)

Thanks in advance for any help, I feel like he's a drug, I want him but I don't need him and he's no good for me.. any advice will be massively appreciated