i don't want to live anymore! anyon... 
sklyles
11 y
7,156
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I don't want to sound pathetic or dramatic, but I woke up again not being able to sleep past a certain time even though I cold feel inside my head I needed more sleep!!!!!!!! The thickness, fullness, tingling, pressure in my temples, irritability, sadness. I feel the WORLD of a difference when I just get a solid night's sleep.
I can't take this anymore! I'm very serious. My son has missed yet ANOTHER day of school because of mommy being sick. Now I have to torture him once again by him watching me lying in the bed alll day because I feel like a wad of crap and I am totally incapacitated to complete the smallest task!!
I just don't even want to live like this anymore. I can't find ONE person that has been cured of this adrenal fatigue to help others. I wanted to find a cure so badly so that I could share it with others, but I'm tired of this 5+ year fight with my adrenals and thyroid disease (initially I had adrenal fatigue and then graves).
I am so sensitive to everything I take...I feel better when I just take nothing sometimes. Herbs, vitamins ...just very apprehensive to take anything. I'm getting so fat and I do all the right things! I hate looking at myself and being in my skin. My hair is thin. My stomach has rolls. I hate watching people eat all the bad crappy food and drink everyday when I eat fish and veggies and drink water and I can't sleep and gain weight while they abuse their bodies and sleep like a rock! I don't eat refined sugar, drink juice, I eat a gluten free/ dairy free diet! Done detoxes. I'm better than I was but hit a plateau. I can see the finish line, but unfortunately I've collapsed and have NOTHING left. I'm tired of fighting...just so tired. Tired of hurting my baby boy. Tired of canceling and having every important function of my life being ruined.
I'M DESPERATE FOR RELIEF. NO ONE SHOULD LIVE LIKE THIS. Anyone been cured PLEEEASE? Otherwise, anyone have something that could kill me in my sleep. I've asked God to Just take me while I'm sleep but that hasn't worked...nothing works anymore...
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... thelaughingdogs
11 y
6,233
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This is a reply to # 2,063,833It sounds like your having cortisol swings like I had. Mine would start from about 4 am in the morning or so. I would be wide awake after that. It was virtually impossible for me to lose weight. Along with the other mega ton of symptoms. I ended up using Relora when I woke up at 4. I used it to normalize and reserve my cortisol overtime. I have too say at first it would dip my cortisol a little low but after about 5 days it even out acting like an adaptogen. It has been one of my favorite supplements.
Also Taurine helpes me stay asleep. It takes a few days to work into your system. But it will make you more relaxed about 5-6 hours after taking it.
I must say I am almost over this crap and I have been doing detoxes for 2 years. Yes it takes a lot of time to detox unfortunately. Keep at it there is a rainbow at the end somewhere and you will have your life back.
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Sherpa
11 y
6,027
MoreThis is a reply to # 2,063,929I have been working hard on healing my AFS (adrenal fatigue syndrome) for about 18 months and I am able to live a fairly normal life, with limits. I sometimes have to miss things or go home early, but usually not.
It's possible. There is hope!
Dr. Lam's book http://www.amazon.com/Adrenal-Fatigue-Syndrome-Vitality-Clinically/dp/1937930009
- has a good chunk (but not all) of the info I needed to get better.
Best of luck and much empathy for you!
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... zepplin2011
11 y
5,886
MoreThis is a reply to # 2,063,929for sleep, my naturopath told me to make my room a safe zone. Unplug all electronics even the light. Then have some white noise always going. White noise helps a lot. I use my window AC unit (the only thing plugged in) as white noise. Oh, and she said it MUST be cold the room. Keep your room cold to sleep better. I also learned that eating right before bed causes me to not be able to sleep well. So I dont eat a few hours before bed.
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Sherpa
11 y
6,027
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Jo86
11 y
5,951
This is a reply to # 2,063,833Don't you DARE think your life is over. Don't ever beat yourself up, I know exactly what you mean in terms of sleep. That expression "a world of a difference" when you sleep better, exactly the same here, spot on.
Of course ppl have cured from it, felt 80-90% back to normal, they were just fortunate enough to find what was wrong with them.
Listen, with today's technology, there's no way you have something incurable.
You have to try certain things, I know it sounds like it's this entire new path you have to try, and you don't have the strength for it, but you'll find what's wrong sooner or later, don't ever put your hands down.
I know the feeling. We've fought a million battles and feel like they were worthless, and now we're barely breathing and have to fight many more.
I've had it 7 years...but I'll never accept this fate of giving up, and I don't have a child and I understand how difficult it is, but your child understands this, there are way worse situations out there not to say yours is easy.
Read up, take your time, nice and slow. This forum is a blessing, I've taken more than I've given here. And it's not going anywhere, we're all here to help you, whenever you want.
Candida, parasites, look at the symptoms for those. Malnutrition, read up what ppl say about carbs and diets. Ask questions, ppl are nice enough to answer you here. Stay curious.
I've read stories of ppl who were basically dead and buried coming back from the dead to go out every day and enjoy a sunny day and chat with friends, go hiking...etc..it's not bullcrap, they just simply found what was wrong and healed it.
FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG AND LIVE AGAIN ! - it's your only solution.
And the only torture for your child would be to see you give up, hope is the most powerful weapon we possess for it is real, not a dream.
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... SeattleK
11 y
5,774
This is a reply to # 2,063,988I'd also second this post. We kind of have to play scientist on our own bodies. At one point i made a list of all the things I thought I could have wrong (candida, parasites, graves, hashimotos, food intolerances etc. etc.), then I had to go down the list and figure out ways to test for each one, whether a lab test or a home test or trying a supplement to see if it helps. Eventually I made some progress.
A Hair mineral analysis test is a good fairly comprehensive way to get a bead on some of the issues and begin working them out. Might be worth looking into one.
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... SeattleK
11 y
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... amber1921
11 y
5,983
This is a reply to # 2,063,833Insomnia is the worst thing in the world. I know where you are at...
What cured mine was yoga. Every day no matter how bad I felt. Even 15 minutes a day...
Doing yoga restores the balance of the entire endocrine system and it's proven to work. In fact it can be the only thing that can cure AF.
The alternate nostril breathing technique helps rebalance the ANS but it only works if you commit yourself doing it every day. Small things make a very big difference in the long run.
I know you think that it's impossible for you to start anything new because everything looks like a monumental task. That's exactly what I felt when my friend introduced me to her teacher. I hated the idea because I really gave up on myself back then but that day changed my life forever. It was a gift of life.
Try to find a private teacher who can be patient with you and understand what you are going through. Make sure that the instructor you are hiring knows different pranayama techniques and recognizes breathing as a stand alone practice. It's very important when it comes to AF. Take one class per week. It's expensive I know but think how much money you spend on suplements that don't work?...
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Marie64
11 y
5,636
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This is a reply to # 2,064,021Hi Skyles,
I am so sorry what you are going through. Alot of us here were and are in your shoes...Your son needs a mom a tired sick mom is better then no mom...
Have you tried Magnseium oil to help you sleep at night...Or even magnesium supplements..
Have you tried any protocol?
Marie
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Marie64
11 y
5,636
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... SeattleK
11 y
5,793
This is a reply to # 2,063,833I am sorry - I know the feeling - hang in there.
'Cure' is a tough word, I don't know of anyone who was cured necessarily. I know a good chunk of people who are 'recovered' though, myself included. I have made about a 75% improvement, and am leading a mostly happy and normal life, but this came after 5 years of AF and the trying to figure out a protocol to get my self back on track.
If it is cortisol swings, seriphos could be a good supplement to try. It really helped level out my cortisol so I could finally get enough rest and let my body begin repairing itself. - Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... hope4myadrenals
11 y
5,854
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This is a reply to # 2,063,833Hi Skyles,
I am sorry it has gotten so bad for you. Please don't give up! :) I wanted to share with you that I know people who have recovered from pretty bad cases of AF/CFIDS/ME. Some of them I know in person, and some are online friends I've kept in touch with through this forum and others. A few of them were worse off than me, and I've been housebound and couch bound on and off for three out of four years of AF. I'm starting to pull out of a deep phase of weakened health, and it's pretty great. I keep a list of links to stories online of recoveries that I look over on rainy days, maybe it will give you some hope as well. If you're interested, I can message you the links.
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Tena Cious
11 y
4,841
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... sklyles
10 y
4,156
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Tena Cious
11 y
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- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... #173783
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This is a reply to # 2,063,833
I know this is an old post and I'm not sure if you're still here/paying attention, but would you consider writing out your health history (for your entire life..no detail is too small or insignificant), all of your current symptoms (again, no detail is insignificant), and everything you've tried and how whatever it was affected you?
I know this seems like a daunting task, but it's hard to help (yourself or someone else) without all of the information. I ultimately figured out quite a lot about myself, and what was wrong with me, by doing this.
If you decide to do it, and are comfortable posting it, I'm sure we'd all have more ideas/thoughts and be more able to help.
Don't give up. You will make it through this, and you will feel better and get your life back.
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... loverock
11 y
4,869
This is a reply to # 2,063,833This is my first time to read a article.The worst thing I saw is that my friend who doesn't have right hand but she always keeps optimistic.She can do everything that normal do but just use different way.I know due to her physical defect she has been enduring lots of pains from her spirit.But after I saw your story,I know you have been enduring more than her as you have to bear physical pain everyday. Actually,I am not a psychologist as well a doctor.I am sorry,I can not do anything to help you as I know everything is no use for you. But I just want to let you,you have encouraged me.From you, I know how lucky I am to have a slippers bussiness and a family.I can eat and done everything what I want.
Thank you for sharing your story,although I can't help you but you helped me.Thank you very much and hope you can get better and better.Good luck!
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... Tena Cious
11 y
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This is a reply to # 2,063,833I was suicidal too on insomnia. Is one good trigger of suicidality and that shows how horrible it is.
Melatonin sublingual, Douglas Labs "cured" my adrenal, thyroid and androgen/estrogen problems driven sleep onset insomnia. It went on for 3 years or so prior to this. Very bad sleep was causing MORE adrenal fatigue and illness rapidly. Now I will be working on my adrenals. Most important supps for it are pantethine and vitamin c but : http://realrawfood.com/article/adrenal-dietary-supplements
Don´t forget the super healthy Diet and juice a lot of raw veggies. juicing has been a breaktrough to me. I am even getting muscular. We cannot juice/eat goitrogenic veggies sadly. Bye bye brocoli. Avoid stress and try to relax and laugh and do something you like everyday etc all this layed out in the Wilson book.
It will take at least a year to get significant improvement. That page copied and pasted directly from the book of Wilson on Adrenal Fatigue btw. A great book. I assume Lam also has good info.
- Re: i don't want to live anymore! a... thelaughingdogs
11 y
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