Last week of internship and everythi... 
Maverick494
11 y
5,094
† Cross †
I have a problem. Basically the world is crumbling beneath my feet.
I have studies at Uni to finish, I'm in my last week of my internship and everything is going to hell. I really need some advice or at least a listening ear.
This is my situation: I am currently living at home, in the country where my parents live (not the USA) with my chronically ill, rapidly deteriorating mom.
My dad lost his job and has heart and liver problems,
My brother has Down's syndrome and also lost his job, last week.
On top of that we can barely manage to keep our heads above water financially. I loaned my dad $4500 of my savings and this weekend he told me has no way to pay me back because he used it to cover for my mom's care. (we get nurses 5 times a day, because my mom is basically paralyzed).
He's going to sell the only car we have and get a really cheap version in order to give us some breathing room and maybe pay me back.
Aside from my internship I work every weekend, because right now I'm the only one with a job. My dad's unemployment benefits wages will stop soon, so when that happens and we haven't found a solution we'll have to sell the house as well.
This is weighing heavily on the entire family. I need to graduate this year so I can get a proper job, but the whole deal is affecting my ability to function well in a company.
Travel time to my internship is long, but low cost because in my country students can use public transportation at a very low fee. Problem is: it takes me 5 hours (or more depending on the weather) to travel back and forth from my internship. I can't move because I don't have the funds, but it cuts my free time short drastically, on top of all the stuff I have to deal with at home.
At the end of today I need to hand in my graduate thesis.
They don't let me work on it during my internship so I've been working on it in my free time, which there isn't much off. I took one day off from my side job in the weekend, but it wasn't enough.
I worked on the thesis all night and at 4am I realized I wouldn't finish it in time to make it to the internship. I sent the staff an e-mail (at 4am) explaining my situation and hoping they'd let me work from home. I just got off the phone with my boss and she was yelling at me, telling that it was unacceptable for an intern to decide she was going to work from home.
I tried to explain to her that I saw no other choice, but she didn't want to hear it. At the end of the week I'm going to get my evaluation and I know this is going to reflect badly on me.
It's basically the latest in a small string of misses and stumbles I've made lately. In the end I always get my work done on time, but I've had to stretch far to do so.
I'm exhausted and there aren't enough hours in the day for me to finish what I need to do to graduate. I have explained my circumstances in person and I've also explained it in my initial report that I gave to her at the beginning of the internship.
I get that they need to be firm and that they can't let an intern make decisions, but I wouldn't have made it if I saw another way out. What am I supposed to do? I honestly don't know whether to stand up for myself or just take it all in stride.
If anyone reads this, thanks because I know it's an essay. I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to answer.
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- Re: Last week of internship and ever... BlueRose
11 y
4,490
This is a reply to # 2,039,566I am so very sorry that you and your family are going through some very hard times.
What I didn't see in your post is if your family has contacted social services. If not, I strongly urge you to do so. I can understand the reluctance to ask for assistance---especially monetary assistance---however, it's there to be used as a safety net. You and your family certainly would NOT be abusing it.
Your dad lost his job. You mention that his unemployment benefits will run out soon. He should be looking for a job---any job---as long as it is honest work and he can physically do the job. Sure, he might be making less and he might be overqualified for a job but at least it will bring in some income. If he has searched high and low and came up empty, I would imagine that, given your family situation, he could apply for welfare.
Your brother has Down Syndrome and also lost his job. I know in the US there are resources for those with Down Syndrome and I imagine that such resources exist in your country, too. Perhaps the local government agency that helps those with Down Syndrome could help your brother find another job.
At least your mom is getting nursing assistance, which, no doubt, is a big help to your family. Why does your father have to pay for your mom's care? Aren't there any governmental assistance programs that he could tap into?
Now, as for your assistance---have you discussed your situation with any counselors at your college? If not, then please avail yourself of it. From what you write, you have precious little time to do such things but it is imperative for you to talk to someone. With a counselor's help, your situation could be documented and explained to your advisors. As for your boss at the internship---is it possible that someone at the college could intervene on your behalf? A counselor could help you with that.
Please, be sure that you and your family avail yourselves of all help that is available to you. It takes time to deal with government agencies but in the end, it will be worth the time invested.
Start getting prepared by gathering all documentation about your family's situation. That way you will be prepared when meeting with a college counselor and social workers.
I urge you to take these steps. There is no need for you to shoulder this all alone. Nor should your dad or brother go without help in the form of unemployment benefits for both.
I wish you all the best as you work on getting the help your family needs. And I hope you don't feel ashamed about reaching out for help. That's what social services and college counselors are for. Governments and colleges set up such services as a safety net for those in need.
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- Re: Last week of internship and ever... impossible
11 y
4,199
This is a reply to # 2,039,566WOW! I say that not because of the situation you are facing, but because of the unselfish & courageous strength, discipline and character you have. I could only imagine the unrelenting pressure you must feel, yet you keep going. Most people would only complain and look for a way out, instead you are only focused on a way through. You must stop for a moment and pat yourself on the back. The world is truly a better because of people like you. Life is not exactly fair, but good things do come to those who work for them. First remember that this will not last forever.
As far as this temporary situation that you are facing with your school/internship, I like the idea of talking to a school counselor and seeing if the school could step in and get someone to cut you some slack. What I would do, depending on the personality of the person, is try to use a little creative b.s.'ing with your boss to get a little leniency and maybe some advice. The older I get the more I realize, those that have gone farthest are those that have developed talent in that area. Maybe start off by saying how sorry you are and that you completely understand, lesson learned, they were right. Then ask her, being an older, accomplished, wise and intelligent person (work the ego:), just not too blatantly) that your talking to because of the respect you have for her and she is the best and (sob) only person you could think of to talk to for some real world advice in a situation like this what she thinks you should do, being careful not too divulge all the sob story at once so as not to show your hand. Enter the conversation with this in mind and see where it goes. And if there was any possible way I could do it without getting caught, I would totally be working on my thesis while commuting and at work. BTW, why didnt you just call in sick or something? I know its dishonest, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
As far as cash goes, selling the car sounds like a good quick fix that will buy enough time to find another source or two of income. If your dad doesnt find work, find it for him. Ask everyone you come into contact with throughout the day if they know of any source of employment. Be outgoing. I've used that method successfully in the past for myself and it doesnt take any extra time out of your day. Creatively use whatever resources you have and can come up with, think Ferris Bueller. LOL. You never know.
It can be tough, people make stupid little mistakes all the time, especially when you're spread that thin and burning the candle at both ends. It helps to have someone to talk to for advice on a daily basis, just for the simple fact that they have a third person point of view and maybe a little more clarity. Talk to someone, anyone.
Bottom line, you'll get through it all and everything find its end one way or another. Just dont give up and keep pushing for that end to be something that you want and eventually it will happen. There are people that appreciate wonderful hardworking people such as yourself, and when you get far enough along and enough of them in your corner, things will be very well for you.
- Re: Last week of internship and ever... BlueRose
11 y
4,490
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