Snobetty, i am not a woman. I have the utmost respect for you to endure this, even if you weren't sick. Woman are some really special beings. They are soft, yet they are super strong and can take some serious pain.

They are still human though. I'm so sorry, i can't imagine how you must feel. You know 6 years ago I got a vasectomy because I was sure i did not want to bring more of my seed to this messed up world. I wasn't sick then, now I'm so glad that I did it.

I can't imagine having more kids, and I'm a guy. But I simply don't want more because I got sick. It's tough enough raising two kids.

I pray and i hope that God gives you the strength that you're going to need to make things work out for your family.

Ahh hang in there...

They say, I have been reading lately that this Realm has unfair Rules such as the so called Karma and that suffering does have a purpose - but not the one we have been told. Why its this Life so f***ed up? No lying here buddies, it IS f***ed up and you know it. Well, imagine, for a moment, that regarding the proposition of Descartes - The Good or the Bad Demiurge, which he solves as the Good as the only possible, were in reality the correct answer a Bad Demiurge.

Certain parts of Schopenhauer could be of much utility here indeed. I feel like my readings of a lifetime have not been coincidental. Oh nothing its anyway...

I am just trying to explain why existence (especially ours) seems to be like a nightmare or a travel across the desert with intermittent oasis at best. Always come to my mind to what degree heavy metals, fluoride, adrenal fatigue etc have altered my perception though.

This all is highly metaphysical and delves in confuse and intrincated waves of information, much of it contradictory. However, looks true at the basics.

But hang in there indeed, because suffering its not eternal and the good guys are near. I think there is a God indeed, but he is not the Demiurge of what we are living within.
Its very needed to maintain a positive feeling, or at least an humorous one. Focus on the things that make you feel good. In my case its reading. I feel the therapeutic effects of it when I am lucky to find a real book. But other things serve this purpose like visiting my grandma lol

A cute baby! So bad You cannot be happy about it because of Your illness.

Do You take any supplements? I imagine that doing any kind of chelation is not a good idea right now, heavy metals and all.