Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Illnes... 
Konnor
13 y
4,398
† Cross †
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Parasites Cleanse
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Interesting query this.
I've not posted much, and essentially been working on creating the life I want regardless of my 'illness'. I've decided to buy a house, go to salsa lessons, start thinking about a web project I want to do and generally be more positive and chatty to whoever I meet, after a lifetime of shyness. Physically I've not noticed a huge improvement, but I just thought bugger it I can actually do these things instead of wasting time trawling the internet.
All great stuff, and none of it feels like I'm overworking my body, in fact the opposite is probably true. With my own house I can truly make my surroundings as conductive to healing as possible. Being more social tends to relax me as well and so on.
HOWEVER, with these life alterations I've also started meeting girls. The problem being, probably due to a complete lack of experience + my chronic health issues, I am permanently locked in fight of flight mode, and it's quite a nasty feeling in the body.
Case in point I met someone on Saturday last week, we got on like a house on fire and are meeting again today for a date. I can certainly allow for being a little nervous after 4 years of never having a date, but for the 6 days since we met I've literally not been able to think about anything else, and feel this horrible chronic adrenaline release throughout my body, with poor sleep, decreased appetite, brain fog through the roof etc. All my work on trying to stay in the now, focus on the things I want to do is being well and truly overrun.
Anyone else have this major exaggeration of symptoms with a crush on the opposite sex?
Perhaps I should allow for this. I don't really get this strong a reaction to anything else in life and to cut it out may benefit my physical health, but leave it unresolved emotionally as a trigger.
Anyone ever felt the same?! Any lifestyle tips? Supplements? Do I literally just try and wait it out? Stop dating? I'd have to go against my urges, but if it's for the greater good....
Ridiculous really. I may not even like her......
More
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... theherbalist2011
13 y
3,462
This is a reply to # 1,893,410Background question:
Do you have chronic craving for sugars?
theherbalist- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... theherbalist2011
13 y
3,541
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,893,467Advertisement
Hulda Clark cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
The reason I asked about the Sugar is because what you're experiencing sounds to be beyond normal social response to the love bug. I believe your body is over-reacting to the love stimulus and you may suffer a lull in health when the stimulus subsides. Even if these events in your life continue strongly, your body may shut down eventually for a short period while you physically recuperate.
If I'm right, I can tell you things to fortify yourself with results in rather quick period of time. If I'm wrong, I apologize in advance for my assumptions.
theherbalist
More
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... theherbalist2011
13 y
3,541
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... armond
13 y
3,795
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Parasites Cleanse
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,410I would recommend researching Amino acids, particularly: taurine and lysine.
http://www.iherb.com/Taurine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taurine
According to animal studies, taurine produces anxiolytic effect and may act as a modulator or antianxiety agent in the central nervous system by activating the glycine receptor.[45][46][47]
http://www.iherb.com/L-Lysine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysine
Lysine has a known anxiolytic action through its effects on serotonin receptors in the intestinal tract. One study on rats[32] showed that overstimulation of the 5-HT4 receptors in the gut are associated with anxiety-induced intestinal pathology. Lysine, acting as a serotonin antagonist and therefore reducing the overactivity of these receptors, reduced signs of anxiety and anxiety-induced diarrhea in the sample population. Another study showed that lysine deficiency leads to a pathological increase in serotonin in the amygdala, a brain structure that is involved in emotional regulation and the stress response.[33]
Human studies have also shown negative correlations between reduced lysine intake and anxiety. A population-based study in Syria included 93 families whose diet is primarily grain-based and therefore likely to be deficient in lysine. Fortification of grains with lysine was shown to reduce markers of anxiety, including cortisol levels, and also led to potentiation of benzodiazepine receptors (common targets of anxiolytic drugs such as Xanax and Ativan).[34] - Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... cora
13 y
3,535
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Original Hulda Clark
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,410Drawn from personal experience, I believe that once you find someone you are powerfully and genuinely attracted to (and v/v), someone who fits comfortably into your paradigm - you will discover that that individual and thoughts related to that person bring calm, peace, inspiration and help enable recovery - not impede.
Go with it. - Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... pbchrist
13 y
3,505
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Parasites Cleanse
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,410Advertisement
Hulda Clark cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
Illness aside, you are experiencing what happens after being out of the game for a while. You want this woman, but the more you dwell on it, you wanting her morphs to wanting what she represents-- sex, companionship, a better life, etc... and this turns on the part of your brain that doesn't want to screw it up. These conflicting impulses (wanting the girl and not wanting to screw it up), will cause mental friction, e.g. a spike in anxiety. This is totally natural, especially considering you've spent four years out of the game. Add whatever has crushed your adrenals, and you have the recipe for what you're talking about.
You've proven to yourself that this isn't a freak occurence, that you can go out and meet other women. I would concentrate on that fact above all else, and when you go on your date, don't try to be something you're not-- be honest, tell her she's so hot she has you tongue tied, tell her that you've been out of the game for a while (you don't have to tell her why)-- women are fantastically intuitive, and if you try to cover up your anxiety by being Mr. Cool, she will sense it's a thin veneer unless there's a copious amount of alcohol involved.
If you're looking for something near-term, I suggest Vedic meditation, the kind where you inwardly chant a meaningless mantra for 20 minutes 2x a day, and allow your mind to devolve into increasingly abstract states. That is great for dispelling anxiety.
But honestly, the cure is meeting more women, getting their phone numbers, getting more dates, generally saying f*** it, and taking more risks in the sexua| arena. That is the way to break through the wall of fear.
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Konnor
13 y
3,693
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Parasites Cleanse
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,519Sounds like you have some experience pbchrist. I'm keen to chase some tail, pretty poor at it but getting better.
Think I'm experiencing a clash between the old...
co-dependance, feeling like life is 'complete' with a partner, feeling excited about the possibility of appearing 'normal' to family and friends, trying to appear cool, calm and collected, overemphasizing my job, lying, feeling responsible for the other persons emotions, being a doormat etc.
With the new....
Building a life that I want to lead, viewing a partner as a compliment to my life, not a requirement/foundation, not being afraid to say what I want, being prepared to take the lead, being confident in my career, interests and health, not playing the victim, being a good 'ender', seeing a woman as the icing on the cake, not the cake.
Date went quite well. Undecided but would like to see her again, ideally in a fun setting as it felt a touch 'interview-y'. I'm really keen to setup an activity for something I'd be interested in whether you are with a date or not. Like skating, a museam, the zoo etc.
Really like that there are some boundaries in place. I was reasonably quick to arrange the first date. Outside of that we haven't been texting. Simply said I'd contact her after new years. No facebook. Whilst these measures seem right for me, at some point I'm going to need to conquer my fear of intimacy.
No idea what I want from a woman. I guess that will come with time. I do know that I get on well with girls who have razor shap wit and can give and take in equal measure. Guess that is a good starting point....- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Piccolo
13 y
3,575
This is a reply to # 1,893,604The best solution would be to find a girl who is also exhausted most of the time because of candida, would it not?
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Piccolo
13 y
3,575
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Konnor
13 y
3,693
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... alibaba199
13 y
3,564
This is a reply to # 1,893,410Yep, happens to me and is totally "normal" for someone w/ AF and/or who's been out of the game a while.
Aside from engaging in other activities or socializing to purposely distract me from it, I've found modulating my B vitamins helps. If I'm imbalanced, I have panic attack type responses. Being balanced can help even out the irrational responses. I had to buy each individually and try them one at a time to figure out what each felt like and what combo I did better with.
My larger issue is how to explain to a potential mate about the AF. That, and I feel odd putting myself out there when I consider myself to be damaged goods at the moment. I feel I have a lot to offer, but I also value my integrity and want to be up-front about everything. But, the biggest thing that kills anything from even getting started is TMI in the beginning.Advertisement
Hulda Clark cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Konnor
13 y
3,555
This is a reply to # 1,893,640With you on that one brother. Have the same dilemma. Although viewing oneself as damaged goods is in part the issue I think. It's been helpful not to think that I need to be good enough for her, but instead evaluate whether she will compliment my life.
I can't imagine I'll be doing much travelling, drinking, eating out at restaurants, staying the night (insomnia habits) etc. If those are all deal breakers then it won't be worth pursuing.
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... alibaba199
13 y
3,444
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Parasites Cleanse
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,686You can stay the night, so long as she doesn't mind you playing with her cat while she sleeps. ;)
Yeah, I think if I find the right girl, she won't really care, knowing that I'm recovering. But, it's how/when to break it to her that's the big question for me.
It's true, having the damaged-goods view is part of the issue. But, in reality, although I'd love to, I'm not going to be running any marathons any time soon.
The people that know me all accept me, even though they might not totally understand AF. And I've even had girls interested in me despite knowing I'm not "right." Actually, maybe they were interested *because* I'm not "right." ;)
I find that once you get to know someone, the little things like AF don't really matter. It's just that it's such a huge part of my life/consciousness at the moment that it's hard to just ignore it and "gloss" over it in the beginning. A month in: "Oh, I didn't tell you about the adrenal fatigue? Yeah, won't be hiking with you at 6am tomorrow, sorry."
I also think that labels like AF tend to make things sound more ominous. If I explain it instead as "my short-term memory sucks" and "I'm really not a morning person. No, I mean I'm REALLY not a morning person" then people are not as put off. It's a lot to do with not projecting my own feelings/beliefs about it onto someone else but letting them make their own mind up about how to feel about it.
Hey, I feel better already!
Cheers!
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... alibaba199
13 y
3,444
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... Konnor
13 y
3,555
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... outoftime44
13 y
3,726
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Energy Awareness Course
Use CureZone kode to get a free session!
Original Dr. Hulda Clark
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,893,410You need to work on ways to convince yourself that the reality you believe, that you are nervous around girls and not good at dating, is only that reality because you think it so. You are creating fear which is harming you in so many ways.
There are many ways to turn it around to have a more positive outlook towards dating. I could name a few but I don't want to suggest something that wouldn't be fitting for you. Whatever you need to fix it will come to you as you seek out a solution.
It sounds like you are gaining the positive outlook that will help you with your health issues as well.
Do not put pressure on yourself on these dates or self-judge - don't have any expectations.
Sounds even like you are beating yourself up for not knowing what you want. What you need or want will come when you are not looking for it.
Just get to a state where you can enjoy the journey and appreciate the health issues as a reason to help along the journey.Advertisement
Hulda Clark cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... alibaba199
13 y
3,564
This is a reply to # 1,893,660What comes first, the chicken or the egg?
While I can appreciate the sentiment, living with AF is not normal. For me, I don't have any difficulties talking to women, dating, etc. But, my body sometimes will get an extremely abnormal rush of fight-or-flight hormones in certain situations. Not only does this make the situation difficult to endure, but it usually results in a crash afterwards. Because of this, AF people usually tend to go psychologically inward and not socialize as much. It's one of those vicious cycles.
So, I disagree that he's creating fear. He's simply responding to a bodily condition, a syndrome.
If years of meditation have taught me anything, it's that I am not my body. These responses I (and I suspect "we") talk about are not emotional responses. They are physiological responses. My body does what it does while I "stand back" and watch. I experience it because I am still tied to my body.
So, when the adrenals are signaled to spit out whatever hormone they spit out, no amount of visualizing in the world is going to stop that from having an effect on the body. Personally, I've become able to separate my conscious self from that, and let me tell you, it's one wild ride to experience from the observation deck.
So, while I do truly believe in the "thoughts are things", and "we create our own reality", etc, etc, I think AF is just not so simple.
But, I totally agree with not beating yourself up about any of it. If anything, I've learned to have fun with it. I just let people around me know what's up and they're fine with it.
Cheers.
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... alibaba199
13 y
3,564
- [Message Subject Hidden by a Forum Moderator] ksushil970
12 y
2,951
- Re: Dating/crushes and AF/chronic Il... theherbalist2011
13 y
3,462
Share:
Translate This Page: