Work place bullying - Tense Relation... 
#21380
11 years ago
1,705
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I have been experiencing bullying, even though I am 57, my younger co-workers, 5 of them are bullying me in many different ways.
For last 4 months at least one of them steals small things from my cubicle. I have emailed and talked to my department head. He asked me to work with his secretary to get locks on my cabinets. But this did not help. Because I just have to go away 5 minutes from my cubicle and something disappears. Most of the things I lose are not valuables, which tells me that this is done to just get me annoyed.
The second person actually tries to speak in Spanish accent trying to imitate my accent. His greeting are ...Contra kero toru tau...etc. Meaningless jibrish.
I constantly find myself planning revenge, even though I know it is not the right thing to do. Also all these things repeat in my head almost all day.
The main leader is at a very high level and IMO is an east European Racist. All these people are white people.
I am going to our HR next, but my department head is not going to like it.
Also I want to get a small camera to catch them.
I am 57, but do not know how to deal with this. I believe I am here to create and help others, which includes these 5 cronies, but my relationships are all very tense with all these guys.
Any help given to me is appreciated.
Thank you.
21380
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- Re: Work place bullying - Tense Rela... skneld
11 years ago
1,538
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If you can in some way get a camera in your cubicle to video those taking items from your desk, that would be the best proof. Before going higher and risking the displeasure of your superiors, I would attempt to get it on tape. This way, you know exactly who the perpetrators are, and the management can deal with those people directly. If you can, try to disguise the camera in an item large enough that it won't be taken. Secure it by some means too. I do not know just exactly how you could do this, but there has to be a way. Showing your exasperation will only egg these perpetrators on. Rather than be revengeful, try another way.... be the opposite... very kind to all of them. Revenge never solves anything, and kindness in return for hurt is the higher choice. While you are taping them, bring cookies, candy, or other things to offer these people. Your kindness will not go unnoticed. This is better than " an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"... all that does is make us all blind and toothless. Better to stand tall and know that you have not been a part of the problem, but have desired to be a part of the solution.
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- Re: Work place bullying - Tense Rela... alikat
11 years ago
1,811
Google AdvertisementThis is a reply to # 1,870,739
Dear #21380,
Three years ago you wrote in this forum complaining about basically the same issues. At that time
you said something about how the management was relocating you to another place. I wonder, are you in the same job, or a different one? How odd that three years later, people are still being abusive towards you.
You were given a lot of really good advice back then, so to refresh your memory, Im pasting the link below for you so you can re-read.
Being nice and bringing in cookies, etc., may indeed be the higher ground, but if you are somewhere in a large city with hardened people, this will not work as it should ideally. It will only raise their level of contempt. You need to strike a balance of not responding in the same nasty way as them, while maintaining your dignity. I wonder if you react visibly hurt or annoyed and if this is what's encouraging these people to violate you?
Here's those old but excellent responses to your old post:
- On the other hand.... alikat
11 years ago
1,761
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#21380,
I just went and read some of your old threads regarding this work situation that keeps repeating in your life. Someone else said perhaps you ought to react by being nice and bringing cookies, or whatever. I unwisely rejected that idea and suggested that may not work in a really tough crowd. I sincerely apologize to the other poster and to you for my lapse in judgement.
Here is what I found you wrote to another poster for advice in a similar situation. I have no words to describe what I think of this:
""Also if you are comfortable try to be friends with these people (it has to be a front) and beat to their game. Poison them with their own medicine. For example if there are two people who are against you but are not so close to each other, find out dirt about those two and tell each of them what the other is saying wrong about each other. They will not like it and eventually they will quit. But you must be two steps ahead of them and comfortable in doing so. Find out where they work and find some dirt on them and spread some ugly stuff about them at their work place. See how they like it. Make sure they do not know who is spreading rumors about them. They will hate it.
Fight back, dear, I know these kind of meanies.
Good luck.
21380""I seriously think you need to examine your own heart. Like breeds like. Read up on the Law of Attraction.
- Re: On the other hand.... BlueRose
11 years ago
1,715
Google AdvertisementThis is a reply to # 1,870,95921380:
I just noticed your post and like alikat, I, too, noticed that you had written previously about your work situation. Are you still in the same place after all this time or is this another work situation?
If you are in the same place, have you attempted to find another job? I'm well aware how difficult it is to find work in the present time. However, 3 years ago the job market was in better shape.
If you are in a different work situation, then I respectfully recommend that you look within yourself to see if there is something about the way to interact with others. That said, there is no excuse for your co-workers to behave the way that they do with you. However, bullies know how to exploit another person's weaknesses.
I like alikat's suggestion of reading up on the law of attraction. Start out by getting a copy of Esther and Jerry Hicks' book "Ask and it is Given".
In the meantime, consider hiring a lawyer. Document everything that has happened. Go to your HR department---bring your lawyer along with you, if necessary.
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you. You have asked about your work situation several times and have been given some good advice in the past.
- Re: On the other hand.... BlueRose
11 years ago
1,715
- On the other hand.... alikat
11 years ago
1,761
- Re: Work place bullying - Tense Rela... skneld
11 years ago
1,538
