anatomydoll
I refuse to live this life the way that I'm living it right now for the rest of my life. I want to live as normal as a life as possible. I want a good job, take care of my kids, a good wife (I'm in the process of divorce) eventually, serve God, have fun, and just live life to the fullest. If it ain't gonna be this way what's the point, may as well check out and go be with the Lord. I don't know any other way to live life. Living it half way is just pointless I think. I can't do this alone. But I do know that I am willing to take risks with my health in order to get better. The HC has not done what I expected, it has helped, but not how I expected. So I am going to pursue a synthetic (o oh, did I say SYNTHETIC, that could get me in trouble here huh? LOL, don't care man) until something happens. Is it selfish of me because I have kids, maybe. But I'm not there for them right now anyway, so may as well be a risk taker and get something to happen. I'm pursing a steroid called Medrol or maybe even Prednisone. Medrol is better according to my yahoo group because it's easier on the liver and also it has less fluid retention properties. Many people there who have tried HC to no avail have switched to Medrol and feel good within 3 days or so. Then some even switch back to HC when they start feeling better. And then of course they wean off the HC. I save many of these stories in my emails to go back to them to get encouraged. These AF symptoms can scare anyone to death. I understand all of you who are paranoid, I can be that way too, but I try not to and try to just say "If God is with me, who can be against me." Plus, leaving this earth for me personally is not such a bad deal. I'm not out to commit suicide either, but I am out to be the man that I use to be and more. That's right, and more. I encourage everyone to take a stand against this AF monster and continue to research and continue to fight. You are all worth it, every one of you. It's scary, maybe, but just smile and keep going and going.
Much love to you all,
Los