Cool thread idea!

1. Rediscover my passion for web design and development and blog about all things nutrition, health, paleo, diet etc, especially areas related to my current state of health. Blog about research papers, maybe do podcasts, maybe go back to school to get qualified.

2. Travel - Treat myself to a super exotic chill out holiday. Bora Bora looks good! Other than that would love to visit the US, Australia or Canada and meet with like minded people.

3. Get back into Dance. Used to be really into Hip-hop which naturally dried up with AF. Would love to be part of group or club, Jabbawockeez style.

4. Cook a healthy meal for friends and family. Unfortunately my sensitivities get the way of all but the blandest foods, so if I can recovery my health and heal my gut, I would love to host a paleo/Western A price style dinner evening.

5. Learn a new language. Become fluent in a language and then travel to a country that speaks the language.

Wowzers I've got some healing to do!

Great suggestion. I've been thinking about making a vision board for a while. Ha ha, maybe I will make a mini vision board of me making a vision board! Maybe then I will actually make a vision board!!!

But seriously yeah.

1. Get a girlfriend. I have a lot of thoughts about this, I don't think I can fully feel for someone emotionally. Like, physically my neurotransmitters of so off I simply can't feel love. It is a dark place to be. I so very badly want to date a girl and have fun with a girl and be sexual, but I simply know I cannot have strong feelings for anyone. And, I hate the feeling of a girl looking you in the eyes and you know that you simply do not feel the feeling they are feeling at that current moment. Any thoughts on this? Can I get a "casual gf" I guess and the moment I feel she wants a stronger emotional bond I should shut it down? I know this sounds like a mental road block that needs to be overcome, but I know so much in depth about my illness that its just not something that can be overcome with thought alone. I mean, I can't enjoy the vision of a sunset, I can't enjoy the feeling of the wind against my face. Doesn't a significant other deserve someone they can share those experiences with emotionally? I am just not capable of that right now : (

2. Settle down and get a job. Any job. I firmly believe that one cannot do good in the world until they are themselves secure and content in their own minds, so they can then fully give themselves to more important things.

3. Travel. I want to go to thailand, south america, etc. I want to go to places with lower economic standards and talk to people, go on hikes, have some wine and watch a sunset etc.

4. Start a family. I am tired of messing around in life, I want my actions to be something that will make me happier in the future. I want my pleasures to be pleasures that truly make my life better. This is an interesting thing. Pleasures that are not of high quality (excessive masturbating to internet porn, using drugs or alcohol in excess, playing online poker all the time, etc) all end up eventually making one's life worse. This is because they pose actual physical chemical stress on one's body. They cause this whole hormonal interaction that requires the immune system to respond to maintain balance in the body, however this eventually causes self harm if done in excess because it causes the body to degrade. All pleasures that are of quality such as love do not do this. Love is stimulating, but in a gentle way to the body and may actually make one's immune system stronger.

5. Reach out to help other people with what I will call diseases of depression, anxiety, and chronic fatigue and tell them my story and what I did to recover. Once I recover I plan on going to as many different internet sites and in plain english telling them what I went through and how I recovered. I think it is an interesting time because it seems that there are many people in our position that have the internet and have voices, and it seems like our voice is getting louder and louder. Things like the true nature of depression, the true nature of fatigue are not that far out of our grasps I don't think (I think it is the activation of endogenous retroviruses in our body, or in other words I think viruses that we are born with are suddenly activated because of excessive stress slowly triggers them to wake up)