Just cant live a lie! 
GregAlmon
14 y
4,670
† Cross †
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Blood Worms?
Hulda Clark Cleanses
For the past 2 years my life is nothing but a lie, a sophisticated lie i weaved so well and got caught up in it... I know i probably have been labeled as an excessively chronic pathological liar...But this is not a joke. It took me a long time to realize that maybe i have a problem, in the processing of hurting lots of people. I've paid my price.My marriage fell apart and i wont be able to see my son grow as much as i wanted to and i have left behind girls that are heart broken and resentful.It's more than just my life that i've ruined...It all started as a small lie, like i would tell a girl i met at the bar that i'm single so that i could have sex with her, while my wife was pregnant.There was also small lies that i made up for my nonexsist army life and other experience that i made up..I had seen those lies made me more attractive and got me more sex and i guess i got addicted to it since then. I kept telling myself they were the one time off thing and would never happen again...My marriage was on rocks and I took a job as strength coach in China to get away. My lying continued and got even worse there. In there i was a free man again, well almost if not for the fact that legally i was still married. I took off the wedding band and went single.I've weaved incredible webs of lies and created many characters where i had those whole different lives and they believed me.It gave me the highs i dont why.But everytime a girl found out which they always did,i saw in their eyes the shock and the disgust like i just turned an horrible animal overnight, i felt the guilt...and in the back of my mind i alway felt that little shadowy guit torwards my wife and our baby boy i left behind to persue a new bachelor life which was a lie i later realized.I'm not a bad person but i have lived a lie.Before i knew it, my lying had went from complusive to habitual cause everytime a lie is out i had to make up more to back up that one.I have fooled them and i have fooled even myself.
I'm seeing a therapist now and thought i would use this as a supplement step to recovery.It is pretty much my pethetic life in a nut shell that you've read...If you are gonna tell me to f*** off then please dont even bother replying...I've got enough of that. I'm not coming here to ask any mercy nor judgement.
Thanks,
Greg
More
- Re: Just cant live a lie! MrCuddly
14 y
3,712
This is a reply to # 1,691,897You're not the first person to use deceit to attract the opposite sex - but you know you've taken it too far and are hurting people.
Amateur psychologists hat on, I'd say:
You're trying to fill an emptiness and sense of inadequacy in your life with sex and desperately use any means to do so (I'm not judging, been there myself). Unfortunately the end result is making you feel even more inadequate - which is the predictable result.
My amateur RX would be to start addressing the inadequacies in your life one at a time instead of running for escapism. 2nd don't judge yourself by anyone's standards but your own, and let your own conscience be your guide.
Maybe your wife makes you feel inadequate also and this is a way to prove she's wrong? You should decide if that relationship would be the first thing to turn around. A second thing would be to apologize in a letter, email, or phone call to the people you've felt you hurt.
They may react angerly at first, but knowing you're sincerely sorry will make it easier for them (and you) moving forward.
The only way to fix deficiencies in your life, character, etc. is being tough and wanting to. Escapism through booze, drugs or women only makes you feel worse and more hopeless.
But as a man, there's nothing more gratifying than seeing the results of your desire and hard work coming to fruition. And from what you've posted here you've already taken the most difficult first step - and that's being honest with yourself. Good luck - start fixing things - and stop beating yourself up!
Advertisement
Bio Cleanse Detox Kit
”I tried juice fasting before but it was very hard. With this product it was much easier.”
More
- i won't tell you to f**k off. John McCain 2008
14 y
3,634
This is a reply to # 1,691,897why a man does what he does intrigues and fascinates the finest intellects in the profession. you've laid it all out really and now are suffering your own internal punishment. what more can be said about what lies can do for your past, present, and future. maybe, just maybe other guys out there in curezone land that are getting laid by others without their wedding rings on will change their ways. maybe. hot singles sex is pretty powerful, as you've experienced, and most fall prey to it's magic. i can't count the number of friends and relative's marriages devestated by the lieing, the cheating, and absolute disregard for the other's feelings who have gone through the same ordeal as you. what do you say to that guy? good luck? hope your next woman understands? don't lie any more? just sounding off might be the best remedy of all...
- Re: Just cant live a lie! #68716
14 y
3,583
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Blood Worms?
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,691,897A good start would be to draft and deliver sincere apologies or otherwise make amends to those deserving same. Most people make mistakes at one time or another, and atonement can bring one closer to closure. The good people will understand you and respect you a little for it perhaps. Then, move forward and don't make any repeat mistakes.
- Re: Just cant live a lie! MrCuddly
14 y
3,712
Share:
Translate This Page: