My little one last night and she said she talks to God and that God told her that God holds the love in our souls in one hand and our bodies in the other. I thought, reflecting on my NDE, sometimes what is in one hand does not know what is in the other hand. I understand that my NDE was a recall to discover what the God who I prayed to really thought about me personally but just as important what God thought of others.

I died in a cornfield on the way to a military school. I crashed my car in a flash flood and through the process had a near death experience. I saw my life flash before my eyes. It was as a 3D movie of my whole life but certain parts were more important than others. For example: The part of my life where I was playing cooperatively with childhood friends, moments where I was admiring nature, moments where I shared a moment with those I loved, gentle loving kindnesses shared; I remember as a pilot flying over a river and seeing the river below. I was in the cockpit with my b ody but not in my body. I was observing my body from behind my head looking down at the natural beauty of the world; I was watching a time I spent fishing with my grandfather, sharing time with him in a type of joy that was gentle and perfect.. What was there but fast forwarded past were the thousands of hours I had practiced war and killing my enemies... I realized upon returning I realized what was important and I no longer desired to kill anyone... I left the military and chose instead to be kind to those that I had once hated... to see the light in others instead of seeing an enemy in those not like me...

I went to the light and met a being of light I called God but that name was misused by the people of my screed of religion. I could no longer sit in religious instruction where the teacher told me that God hated Atheists, Muslims, Communists, Catholics... or anyone not just like the teacher. I would walk out of religious services as I knew those religious teachers were lying... I left the military and quit practicing the dark art of war.

I now pray to the being of light and sometimes I call that being God but I also call the the light the Father
of Lights, Abba Father(Daddy), Yah,(YAW)or the sum of all love... The being of Light I met in heaven asked me if I had learned enough about love.I have tried to make my life a learning lesson about the love I met in heaven... the kind of love that serves others with gentle loving kindness instead of plotting and scheming against those who I believed God hated... When we die, we get to keep every moment of joy, kindnesses given to us or shown by us as gifts to add to the sum of all love... There is a book of our life,,, it can be a very short book with those moments that the sun shined warmly on our lives in spite of our hate and cruelty or we can make our life a love story of love we were given and the loved we shared with all of God's creatures... Having a Near Death Experience is as a recall for further training... I believe my life up to my Near Death Experience was a life designed to inflict suffering and misery on people I believed God hated but I prayed to a God who loved me and everyone... I understand God just couldn't let me go on believing that the being I prayed to hated on people who did not believe as I did. I hope when I die next time that I will find within my life review more moments when I shined the same light that I was shown. It would have been better if I had learned those lessons without dying but I did die and returning from death, I can't seem to shut up about how much the Light we all who have souls will meet when we die... The light is the sum of all love... give love and your reward will be the love you gave and the love you received... If you do not give love then all you will have is the love you were given,,, nd that is still wonderful but why not add to the sum of all love> It is like ruby's and sapphires in heaven when we give love... Love is the currency of the next life... so give love...

rudi