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Hello Disturbance
I think what you are experiencing is automatic negative thoughts. These thoughts are just popping in the mind in certain times of the day.
For me is before I go to bed and upon arising in the morning. Trying to pay attention to my thought patterns and then rejecting them simply using words like (No), (Stop). (Leave me alone) etc. repeatedly help keep the anger and unwanted behaviors at bay.
This works for me fine. It will take time at first but when you see the benefits you will be motivated to control and stop those automatic negative thoughts before they got to your emotions. As long as you have some kind of problem in your life the thoughts will be back to visit, kinda, I think but being persistent paid off big time.
Remember these automatic negative thoughts are so subtle most of the time we do not even know we have them.
From experience when I started to chase the automatic negative thoughts away before they got to my inner being/ soul, I am able to control my emotions better, be more calmer, happier, confident. Just knowing that I am able to control my own emotions in a heated arguments, not being reactive most of the time is real nice.
Regards,
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