I agree with the direction you have alluded to

It is about surrender not control

And if one is frightened of others motives, as we often are, then it is a dicey proposition at best

That's funny...and sadly, very true.

I studied sensual healing for a while. I listened to A LOT of wonderful men over the age of 45 talk about their lives. It was serious therapy. None of their wives were interested in sensual connection. As the numbers rose, there was no way to see that there wasn't a serious trend going on. These were wonderful men that wanted nothing more than what nature designed them for - to feel exalted, handsome, needed, wanted and to connect with the lovely set of curves laying next to them. Women, in turn, at their essence, I believe, want to feel nurtured, protected and revered. Once their lives are secure - they certainly do crave it less than their mate.

But - I believe I'm talking in terms of where our society and culture are right now. As I felt a lot of empathy for these men (who were extraordinary human beings trying to figure things out just like everyone else), I too, fell into that the next year. I knew it was symptomatic of where my health was and that I would relegate this to the years my body/mind/spirit/endocrine balance was off kilter.

I am proving that to be so. As I become healthier, breathe better, feel more balanced - there is room to entertain that energy. It does (sex and sensual connection) take a bit of energy to culminate and express. I believe women feel very tapped. They feel tapped, exhausted and without drive - for much of anything. Notice how (I speak in terms of our country because that's what I know best), when women over the age of 45 in our country start to wear the preferred 'uniform'. You know the one.

They go get their hair cut in that helmet fashion. They start wearing elastic pants (even if they're relatively shapely still), they buy nondescript loafers, start wearing tents of shirts with things appliqued or printed on them that are not relative to their being. It's as if they begin wearing a 'story' on their chest, whether it's a print of a garden, santa claus, an American flag - what have you. Back in the more metropolitan cities I've lived in, I've noticed many times a gaggle of European women on vacation sitting at tables in restaurants or all standing on the corner and pointing up at the same architectural marvel. Know what's different? They're all in their 50s, still rather individual and exude a level of confidence in their sensuality that I rarely see in American women.

My theory?

Decades of underarm deodorant, conventional tampons, DNCs, perfume, make-up, et al...have slowly taken a toll and caused major accumulation issues that cause a low-grade distancing affect from their partner. No wonder they don't feel sensual or approachable. Do you all remember how inapproachable you felt when you were toxic and half-mast?

Notice the women on these boards that are in support of sensual connection - are all women that took their detoxing and soulful integration into primary concern for their being? They're balanced, thriving, sensual beings...as they were designed to be. Women are such beautiful creatures. It truly is a shame that there are still some very prevalent ways in which Quaker and Puritan scopes permeate our being at particular ages. Women, reaching their matron and into their crone stages feel they cannot be revered anymore - why because they don't look like Cameron Diaz and Britney Spears - ridiculous. Put a woman through a major detox for a year, throw away the schmatas in her closet, get rid of that helmut hair and don't let her put anything allopathic on her skin and I *think* she'll turn back into a randy tartlette that wants to be taken out on the town. She'll break out those sling-back heals and the shorter skirt and feel as beautiful as the day she turned 25.

Ties to telegony.

What is the effect on the child then, if a female has encounters with 10 different males over her sexual career, before bearing a child to the 11th ?

So...you're not a fan?

but without sex there would be no Trapper :)