Hello Lauray,

I’m so sorry that you’re having so much trouble in your life but I have to agree with Steve. I have been reading your posts for a couple of hours now and you are having the same problems now that you were having when you started posting 19 months ago. I didn't read every single one since you have 3 pages full and 90% of them are quite lengthy but I went through and cut out a couple of paragraphs from just a few of them to show you that you did indeed admit to having an ED.

This is from one of your posts 16 months ago:

“.. So, Tuesday morning: I had binged post fast on Monday but then gotten wonderfully back on track by Monday night and not even been binge-triggered... Tuesday morning I was feeling okay, only a little "worked out" by the effort of getting back on track -- though physically, as I mention, I had also a wonderful healing in the getting-back-on-track...”

“(i would feel more justified in bingeing if I fasted, and enjoy it more, too... and the body-mind reads the intention to fast as some kind of promise of a legal binge... so there is a kind of toxic incentive ... if the fast is successful it alkalizes the body and heals the desire to binge and everything is good... but my fasts are still very brief and they don't detoxify me that much and I have to contend at the end of the fast -- as I have discovered, writing this post, -- with the compulsion to binge! ... I have fasted for longer times and the body really comes on strong at the ends of longer fasts and FORBIDS you to binge. I could not have binged if I had wanted to, after a longer fast; I would have gotten really sick. ... this didn't last long, unfortunately, and within maybe a day and a half I would be overeating again.”

This is from one of your posts 15 months ago:

“I left off my narrative at the point where I went out to Overeaters Anonymous last night. I have had a bit of a scary time since then. I went to OA and arrived late. But before I go into what happened at OA I will review my fasting progress this week.”

“I have been trying to confront some really entrenched compulsive-overeating behavior this week. I have been very frightened at how out of control my eating has been.”

“The terror and Depression are still present, today, and this is because of my compulsive overeating -- my getting high on food -- and the condition of my colon.”

Another post from 15 months ago:

“The bottom line is that right now: (1) It is impossible for me to be honest and truly open and vulnerable. (2) I really just want to take one more heavy-eating, getting-high-on-food day. (3) I am unwilling to begin this Watermelon process or a fast. (4) I am unbloated and thus my addiction is excited at my ability to handle a food slam again, and resentful at having had to stop the slamming temporarily while the bloating healed (bloating always causes SUCH anxiety.... since I cannot eat when bloated I am in emotional terror... I cannot handle my feelings without slamming food and if the possibility of slamming food is taken away... then what???? I am basically panicked the entire time I am bloated, and I basically refuse to calm down, and just sit there fixated on recovering from the bloating so I can slam food again... and I get also the terrror that I will stay bloated forever and die, that my body will reject food forever.”

This is from 13 Months ago. There is a link to your blog in this message but the title says it all, I didn’t need to read it:

"Starting Long Fast for Permanent Stopping of Compulsive Overeating" by lauray 13 mon.

Ok, I think I have made my point. You didn't call it an ED in the posts I have listed but when you fast and then binge that is an ED. When you slam food that is an ED. When you compulsively overeat that is an ED and you admitted to being addicted to the food slamming. You attended meetings at Overeaters Anonymous, which is a good place for you to get help.

Lauray I am NOT a doctor nor am I qualified to diagnose an ED however, anyone that would take the time to read through your posts would figure out that you have some kind of an Ed.

I did not spend all the time it took me to read through your posts to put you down or try to make you feel bad. I spent all that time because I'm very concerned for your well being and not just about your eating and fasting habits. I am concerned about many things that you have posted, your health, your state of mind, and your lack of self esteem just to name a few.

It would be good if you would seek some counseling or a very compassionate therapist that will be able to work with you. You talked about being scared of fasting and you seem to be on the edge of panic in many of your posts. It is my opinion that fasting will not benefit you the way you are trying to go about it, there are too many other things you need to work on before you undertake a fast of any length.

Please take this in the spirit it was given Lauray, with caring and compassion. You seem to be just wearing yourself out trying to get through things on your own and that is not a frame of mind you should be in while fasting. If you can't afford a therapist or counselor there are many who do it pro bono. You are worth the time Lauray, you just have to seek the help. You have been in the same frame of mind for at least 19 months and its time for someone to help you. You just have to find that person. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

You need to learn to love yourself, once you figure that out you will be well on your way to having the happy, healthy life you deserve Lauray. When you deal with the emotional baggage it will be easier for you to address the eating issues. Once you get all that straightened it should be much easier for you to fast.

I wish you nothing but the best and hope you will get the help you need.

Willow

Lauray,

How can you call your eating habits yourself when u jumping to one extreme to another? U can't balance your eating habits and either overeating to the extend when u experience A LOT of pain (and u admit that urself!) or just do not eat at all. It is not called ED, is it? The re is NO need to be a doctor to state that.

As far as I remember you are writing the same thing (about binging till pain and fasting) for at least a year. And let me say it for myself your posts has been so far of the SAME nature. Binging - fasting - binging again - fasting again - binging... Success? WHERE? U try to persuade urself that u have it (may be it helps u to justify all ur efforts so far) but many ppl here cant say so. U are just dancing in circus and, it does seem to me, u need to think about your further actions and life seriously. Lauray, my dear, I do not want to think negatively here. I just want to help u to open ur eyes and look at ur situation more realistically. Do u understand:).... I am not sure about ur age now but, if I am not mistaken in one of ur posts several months back u said u are in ur 20s and u have normal weight. Correct me if I am wrong in this case.... Whatever ur age and weight.. u just.. u just need to future has in store for u if u stick to ur present rhythm of fasting and eating the way you do. PLEASE stop for a moment and think about it.

Many blessings to you:)

Nadia x

Ps (edit): She is 37-38 now. I found her original post which explains everything.

I'm honestly so sick of people playing Doctor on here and trying to diagnose people.

I'd like to see those do it in real life.

Easy to play doctor when you google crap all day.

And taking an ED test online? I won't even get into that. Its like taking an IQ test online.

At the end of the day, none of you are qualified medical professionals (at least to my knowledge). I think I am the only one here and you don't see me diagnosing people online and playing Saviour.

We are all adults and have brains that we either use or want to use. Regardless if its clear someone has an eating problems. This forum has went from quoting Shelton constantly to ED bombarding. At least the Shelton quoting had to do directly with fasting.

No one comes here for either at the end of the day, and as adults will do what they feel they need to do.

If people want to get help for whatever outside its quite easy and they won't be starting on an online forum.

But I digress.

This forum is just getting full of crap, and no real Water Fasting.

The FAQ should suffice not Steve playing ED online police and people being jumped on.


Anyways I'm off to the hospital to play Doctor in real life.

Later