Hey everyone, I need some advice/insight on a situation that is troubling me, so please help me out if you can...Here goes...

I currently live with my sister and her 10 year old son(until I leave for college next month). She always keeps the house filled with snacks and processed food, and gets pizza and fast food fairly often, but she doesnt think that what she buys is junk food. I have tried talking to her about it, but she always cuts me off and says "We dont eat junk all the time!" and runs off to eat some hotpockets or pizza for dinner. So I wrote her this email that expressed my concerns about her and my nephew's eating habits and how I worry about their health and gave some reasons why I try to tell her most of what she buys is junk food. Its a bit long, but please read it and let me know if I was right to say any of this...or if I came off wrong.

______________________________________EMAIL STARTS HERE:

Dear ________,

I wasnt meaning to make you upset or anything when I mentioned my concerns about the eating habits you and especially tj have. I worry about him because I care so very much, and you may not see it, but it is a problem and it will only get worse as he gets older if nothing is changed.

I have gone through being obese all my life and progressively getting fatter as I got older, I know that it is not a fun way to grow up and since I was 9 years old I worried about my health and wished that I wasnt fat, but didnt know what to do about it. I would try again and again as a child to diet when I really didnt even properly know how. I always ended up feeling defeated and giving up because my parents didnt see a problem with me eating cookies and chips and processed dinners all day, then later also eating whatever was made for dinner either.

I just worry about you two and since I have learned so much about how dangerous that food is and how it affects the body and your health...it has been on my heart to at least tell you how I feel about it and offer to help you learn a better way to manage your health. Because it is important, and it is serious. You may not be worried about it now....but down the road when the health problems start to come up and doctors start saying things like diabetes, and high blood pressure, you will worry about it then...I just want to try to help before it gets to that point. I want you to be healthy and safe.....

And I guess you dont see it, but most of what you eat and get from the store is junk food and is high in calories and low in nutrition. Today TJ ate hotpockets, pizza, chips, probably a twinkie and then a hungry man dinner. That may not sound like a lot quantity wise, but the calories in all of that junk food adds up to more than what a grown man who is 5'11" and weighs 300 pounds should eat in a day to maintain that weight, which is 2800 calories. And that is bad....that is really bad. Just to maintain the weight he is right now without gaining or losing, Tj should be eating no more than 1850 calories a day. And it worries me so much because you dont seem to see a problem.

There are better foods that you could choose for him instead that taste good and that he would like and could eat the same amount of or even more of it, but take in a lot less calories and saturated fat and get a lot more vitamins and nutrients in, which his diet severely lacks.

You have completely reversed things without even noticing it. You treat fresh fruit as a treat that you only get occasionally, but chips and goodies are bought each time you go grocery shopping. I dont think I have even seen you make fresh vegetables other than occasional salads that you load down with high calorie toppings and dressing, which somewhat defeats the purpose. Iceberg lettuce doesnt contain many nutrients anyway--its mostly water. So the main benefit of having a salad with Iceberg lettuce, which is the low calories, is mostly eliminated by adding all the bacon bits, croutons,etc. A darker lettuce, like Romaine, has more beneficial vitamins and nutrients. Canned veggies are not as nutritious as fresh and they often contain a lot of sodium, which is bad in high amounts. Diets high in sodium, like yours, cause high blood pressure.

I guess you dont notice the problem, or you dont really realize what you and your son are eating and how it is affecting the both of you. Do you know that TJ weighs more than what I, as a fully grown woman at 5'6" is supposed to healthily weigh? And he is only 10 years old.

Do you not think about the problems that will cause him as he gets older? Do you want him to get fatter and fatter and be at risk for heart attacks and diabetes by the time he's in his twenties, or maybe even sooner than that? I'm not saying this to upset you, I just care so much about him and I want so much better for him than that.

The problem is that if you continue like this, both of you will only get bigger and bigger. Its sad to me because TJ started out being at a healthy weight when he was younger, but you let him just eat however much junk he wants and now he is obese.

You just write it off by saying "At least he's eating". But he doesnt have to eat unhealthy food snack food all the time though. It is not okay to be obese. It is dangerous. A hungry man dinner isnt a healthy meal. Its full of saturated fats that clog arteries and cause plaque buildup in the heart and cause high blood pressure. They are also extremely high calories. It only takes 3500 extra calories to gain 1 pound.

I doubt you have noticed, but in my new diet, I still allow myself to eat pizza sometimes if I want, or have a little of whatever you have made for dinner, but the difference with me is that next day will I make up for that by limiting my calorie intake or even fasting completely to balance out my calorie intake. Plus I take vitamins to make sure I get enough nutrition. There is a line of moderation that needs to be met. It cant just be snack after snack after hot pocket after pizza after hungryman dinner every single day.

I dont suggest that you and TJ have to count calories or start fasting, but maybe just ease up on the amount of snacks, processed dinners and soda you consume. Put in some more real dinners, that have vegetables, complex carbs and lean meats a few times a week.

The snacks and hotpockets, etc. should have a lesser priority than they do...I know you do the whole quick microwave meals because you work and dont feel like cooking all the time and its just easier to tell TJ to pop something in the microwave or heat up some hot dogs really quick. But perhaps a solution to that could be to use your days off to make meals ahead of time. You could make meals for the next 2-3 days ahead, put them in storage containers then just take them out when you are ready for them.

Well anyway, I know this was long and probably made you mad at me, but I felt I needed to tell you in hopes that you might at least see the problems I see...and I needed to at least get some of this off of my chest because it has been bothering me for a while and my conscience wouldnt let me rest without at least knowing I tried to help you.
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Oh and just to add for additional clarity....My sister and I arent especially close and we didnt grow up together...we had very different upbringings and experiences. She has only become overweight in adulthood since having her son, so I think there is a lot she doesnt understand.