Last night was a bit hard for me. I wanted to eat because I was feeling down. The one thing that is bad about eating habits. Emotional eating. Through out the day, when I had an urge to want to eat something,I asked God to strengthen me on this walk that I am taking.

Of course, my mind is always thinking about food now that I am not eating it. I have noticed how many commericals, both on tv and on the radio are food based. As well as on TV shows, showing people eating all the time. I was thinking during this fast I might keep track on how often food is mentioned. When I was in college, we had to monitor the news to see the ratio of good news to the bad news. It was very enlightening to find out that the bad news overwhelmed the good news. So I might keep track of the seemingly food obsession that we are bombarded in everday life.

I drank over a liter and a half of water yesterday. My body was flooded with so much water that I had to "go" a lot, but I know it a couple days, my body will rehydrate itself and absorb more water then it was. It was a kind of shock to my system. My co workers were probably looking at me funny as I left the floor to use the restroom. I am a bit excited about doing this fast. I really want to tell someone, but Jesus said that when you do something like this, do not broadcast it to others. It shows that you are prideful in show what you are doing for God and not keeping it secret and giving God the glory. So, that is why I am posting here. It helps me move forward as well as release any pent up "wanting-to-talk-about" fasting thoughts.

I haven't fasted in a while. During Easter I tried to fast by my heart wasn't in it and I only fasted for 4 days. The last time I seriously fasted was the Lenten Season of 2006 when I was able to fast for 55 days. It was so wonderful to be so entrenched with God during that time. I saw so many things open up to me. I saw that my health improved, I slimmed down and could breath easier due to my sisuses were clear and open. But the most miraculous was how God worked in my life. The prayers requests I laid before the Lord were answered again and again. It was so wonderful to feel His presence in all that I did while I was fasting.

It is hard to explain to people how free one feels when they are fasting for God. It loosens so many worldly things both physically and mentally. When I began to eat again, the taste was so wonderful as if I was just learning how to eat again. I savored my food more then just eating like a mind numbing robot.

Ok the things that I have down for my goals in this fast.

1. Break the sense of Depression and failure and be ok with the things I can not control. To let it go and let God.

2. To make the right steps in regards to Person A. and Person B. It seems I need more guidance on this issue. I am standing in a fork in the road and I need to choose one of the paths, but uncertainity is making me hesitatant.

3. To decide how to reconnet with my father after a year of silence.

4. To work in a plan with my business lifestyle of working two jobs in better and healthy eating habits. Find ways to eat on the go, but refrain from eating fast food.

5. Focus on the bad habits and how I might correct them and refine myself in God's light.

6 Read my Bible every day, even if it is just a couple sentences. I want to emerse myself in the Word so that during this fast I might be intune with His voice and His will in my life.

7 Listen to God and not put in my 2 cents worthy of what I want. He knows what I need and what is the best for me. I just have to have faith in it.

8. Pray for one person specificly each day and focus on their needs and not necessarily my own.

9. Praise God and look and find His wonders everyday during my fast.

10. Be thankful.

I am kind of numb right now. Too much is going on in my life that I dont' feel the hunger yet, but I know I will here sometime today and tomorrow. I just have to remind myself that food isn't everything. It is just substanance and God will provide for so much more if I just allow Him. I will eat again. But now, I need to focus on God and God alone. I am trying so hard to not worry and fret about little things in the future.

I need God's reassurance that it will be ok no matter that.

I am waiting, Lord. I am listening..