Its funny that you mention those tapes and what you got out of it. I was also referred to somewhat similar resource, "What Color is your Parachute." The book talks about those same sort of themes. There are exercise to help you figure things out. I didn't follow all of them by the "T" but I have applied them to suit my needs.

For instance, they say to draw a picture of what you would like your life to be like (no boundaries, its whatever you want). So, I took a huge marker board and drew it all out. Apparently, pictures affect the subconcious more than words do. Anyways, my picture is of me living on the beach, in my hometown, in a house with lots of natural lighting, with my cats content, having fun with my close friends, having a deck on my house with plants hanging down, being able to lay on the roof of my house just to get away or to look at the stars at night--and there is so much more to the picture than I can even explain in words. It sits in my room and I look at it everyday by just passing by.

Another thing they say to do is to write down several jobs you would like to have (again, no boundaries). I didn't write them down, but have been going through classifieds and saving the jobs that I find interesting, because I don't even really know what is out there. I've saved like Science teacher, HIV educator, fitness instructor, and so on. Maybe I can find some connection for why I find them interesting, yet they are so drastically different.

There is another exercise that involves what you want out of a job. For me, I have done the best, in the past, by being an independent contractor, and I pretty much listed all the qualities of that kind of a job. I think that is why this job irks me so much, because I had freedom and only answered to myself. I feel so confined to the walls of my office and this damn computer (I'm a web designer/developer). I have been active almost all my life, especially through my contracting work, now I am so sedintary its unreal (I feel myself getting older FAST and I look different). I can't just work my butt off and take a couple weeks off to recoup and visit friends/family. I am bounded by their vacations and pto policy. I have to have assessments, whereas before I just answered to myself, and assessed my own success. I am bounded by their philosophies, or else I will not succeed in their world. Unfortunately, I can't do the contracting anymore for several reasons, above all is the fact that I absoulutely need health insurance coverage, and I have preexisting conditions. I used to pay out of pocket for my health, which is just absoulutely crazy! Right now, my prescriptions alone would cost about $700 a month! My mom, which is the only one in my family that knows I am planning something, says that she thinks my health problems will improve when I get out of this mess, but I still need coverage.

I am thinking that I would like to be either a massage therapist, some sort of fitness instructor (step aerobics, nia, yoga-which my close friends seem to all agree that I would flourish in one of these areas.), or something very similar to the two. Massage therapy school costs a lot (for a good school), and also I am so small that I wonder what I would do if one of my clients were large and tight! So MT might not be such a good choice. The other ones I would need more experience with, and I am leaning towards nia and step/aerobics rather than yoga.

It sounds like this downtime could really do you some good. I definately recommend that book. It helps you to explore yourself and what you really want out of life. You are definately right about this being a good learning experience. Thanks for all of your advice, I really appreciate it!

TTYL :)