The reason I don't like the word God is that there is a lot of information attributed to God that was never said or done by the being of light I met in heaven. Once you figure this out, religion becomes much more challenging. You have to sepearate the darkness from the light. You realize that some large part of all religion is designed to enslave you. The breakthrough only comes when you find your own truth... find the Holy Spirit in between the words... start recognizing angels, ancestors, or spirits of light that are surrounding you. Start speaking straight to the source. It hard to see those higher vibration beings and the source of all light while we are struggling with their lower vibration brothers. The only way I can do this is by being in a quiet place and opening myself up to loving kindness. You say you have slipped into agnosticism again? I understand that. If I had to choose between religion's God and nothing, I might choose nothing. Nothing is better than giving up your hope to a being that crushes those who do not bow and worship him. That is not who the loving being of light I met in heaven is.

God who is made of love is just about loving kindness... Imagine if you had a child and your legacy was loving kindness but you were far away from your child. You wanted this to be the legacy for your child too but you could only reach your child through messengers. You lost your child but you wanted your child to come to you but if you are made of love...you can not look in places of unlove... you can't see through the veil of unlove...so through messengers you hoped your child could find you. The messengers who received your message of love only partially understood your message because they didn't understand your language of love but you do the best you can to describe how much you love your child and you describe your children of light can know who you are and how to get back to where they came from. By the time the letter or message you sent gets to your child, many of the words you sent through your messengers have been distorted, altered, and the intention misinterpreted. Through it all, some who seek to find you will wade through all of the unlove to find love but it is easy to be distracted. I hope you find your way back to love.

Sometimes I hear love in a song and know that I am getting close. Sometimes, when I am helping others, I know that somehow this that I am doing is what my loving mother/father would be doing. If you want to find a living fish, don't look on dry land. If you want to find the source of all love, don't look for love in unlove..
When I open my heart up to ask for help in finding my loving father/mother, I may ask through the medium of my religion but I know that I must filter out all unlove from the answers I receive. If you receive a message of love then it is from the being of light who awaits your return... but if there is any unlove in the message you
receive then it is from this world and this world will soon be fading away.

It doesn't matter how far along the path you are to finding your loving father/mother... Love will find you along that path one day. One day, love will not be held back from finding you. Whatever love you received and whatever love you gave... no matter how great or small are the bread crumbs that will lead the God who is love back to your soul.

Keep spreading love and even if you do not believe in a God anymore, it is okay, love believes in you and this is all there is when this sad and dying world is through. Give love when the world is bearing down on you. If you are paranoid it may be because you have lost your way but it may only be because someone told you to listen to voices and called them love that do not love you. Learn to listen to that quiet still voice of love... It is quiet and knows you as a loving mother loves a helpless babe. Listen for the voice that is the voice of a loving father who waits in great anticipation for your return. LOve is the space between words....thoughts... and deeds of loving kindness...

The greater loving being of light put inside of you a sphere of light... so everything the greater being of light can do...you can do also...You can find loving kindness by looking toward the light that awaits you and you can also find light by looking inside... Inside or outside... light is light... and you don't need eyes to see that light... and you don't need ears to hear that love song... and you don't need to feel that love to touch the source of all love... You just have to open yourself up to love and even when you see the messengers of God not loving or kind...
you will see through their unlove to find love... and when you hear the messengers of love speak in voice that does not love then you will know the difference and you can go on with your search... and when you discover that it is a higher love to love by
giving a helping hand than to depend on lovers to give you all of your needs then you
are getting closer to the source of love. It is not that we should reject every unloving thing as the body is sustained by consuming one another but rather that we should do as little harm as possible...love as much as possible... and follow to the best of our ability... the voice of loving kindness... In this way... we can survive as best we can in this world and not waste this life giving all of our energy to what will never survive this life.

I am never fully on the path of love except when I am still... As soon as I act... on my understanding of love... it becomes diluted by my selfish intentions... but to do nothing is to lose the reason why we fall into bodies... To love in the face of unlove may be more difficult but if we choose to concede to unlove then we will be tempted to fall again and again... so love when the world shows you unlove... To say loving words when the voices of fear surround you shakes the walls around you... the wold will think you are crazy but you will be calm... With your body...give a goodly portion of the energy you get from consuming physical food to nurturing the spiritual food of loving kindness for others and what you give in whatever way you gave will be given back to you...this is a rule that the villain who created time made... but in this way... when you give loving kindness in this world... you will have a greater portion of protection from unlove... and this world does end...and when it ends... all of the moments when you acted on those quiet and still messages of love... will be who you are when this world goes up in flames... and those times you loves in the face of unlove will shine on forever and beyond forever to timelessness so love in the face of unlove anyway... and joyfully laugh in the face of fear...and world will not know you but you will truly be on your way home...

Love...Light... & Joyful Laughter to you and yours,

rudi