HI Malaike, I am so sorry to hear that you are so desperately sad.

Knowing nothing about your situation I'd venture to advise you to first, breathe - really breathe, fill your being with fresh oxygen and put your arms around you. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Cradle yourself.

Go outside into nature, and let the earth, nature and its sounds, the breeze or the sun recharge your spirit with energy. You are, as are we all, part of it all - and nature will refill your energy resources.

Drink water and eat as fresh and as varied foods as you can, take care of you, of your body, if you have available take a really good whole food supplement or the next best thing that you have available - if possible. Or juice some vegetables and fruits and drink to get some needed support for your body. The darker, the greener, the better - you need chlorophyll and all the nutrients encapsulated in these magnificent foods.

Being alone is much better than being in a relationship that is not for you. Even when we think it is. Try to calm yourself, to let your body know that you can put everything away until you can cope. Give your mind and body a vacation, a time out.

Panic attacks will stress your adrenals terribly, causing further fear as adrenaline is released. A vicious circle. Stress is your enemy now, so try to let yourself be calm, let yourself be still.

Is there a friend close by or do you have a pet? Please - let them be there for you. No need to talk even - just to be near a calming spirit.

Dance - it will inevitably make you soar. Smile, laugh out loud - it releases endorphins, and makes you feel calm.

If you can possibly take some EFA's (balance your hormones)/essential oils - feed your brain. I read that Panic attacks and anxiety are tied to a nutritional deficiency. See if this link has some interesting info for you: http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/beating_anxiety.html

And at the risk of sounding trite - if you can take some B12 and some B-multi's they are important supplements for Depression in my humble opinion.

Lastly - if you can gather a bit of energy: please get outside and walk, walk, walk, feel the sun on your skin, let the rays fill your body with vigor and let that force circulate and grow. Like a riple in a pond - energy feeds on itself, and grows ever larger encircling you with renewed warmth and hope.

Walk away the misery, fill up with fresh energy.

Snippet & link:

“Exercise is one of the most effective ways to manage stress. Here's what to do.
Boost Your Mood. Every time you move, your body secretes beta endorphins, brain chemicals that calm you down and regulate your stress hormones.”

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NAH/is_7_33/ai_107637377/pg_1

All my best to you from this end...

MadArt (ist)