boyfriend cheated on me 
muttgirl
16 y
1,831
He finally told me, on new year's day that he wants to date her. He said he loves me wants to be good friends, which is hard for me. It was a total shock to me, I had no idea. He said I deserve better than him.
I want him back, I know this relationship won't work out. She's fat, wears a ton of makeup, divorced, has a low iq, and a young child, which I can't see him dealing with. She's been dating his friends, she's making her way through his social group, which I can't imagine is good for her son.
How should I handle this? Should I be friends? I do believe he will realize his mistake.
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- Re: boyfriend cheated on me Alikat
16 y
1,867
This is a reply to # 1,078,125
Hi Muttgirl, you've been on Curezone for many years now, goodness longer than me! You've done so many good things for your body and mind that I have seen you post about over time. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult situation now.
You ask; how should you handle this? You don't handle it honey, you face it and let him go. COMPLETELY!
Should you be friends? You aren't friends now. Good friends don't play games and say things like "you deserve better". Of course you do, but he doesn't mean it, he's just trying to get off the hook easy and avoid the discomfort of you feeling angry, upset and cheated. That's not a friend. Sometimes after a breakup, some people do maintain a friendship, but that usually works out on its own eventually. You don't plan for it and you can't have a friendship where basic trust has been violated.
You believe he will realize his mistake? Whether he actually ever does or not, you would be self sabotaging if you hang around waiting to see how he's going to respond to his choice in the future. Forget what the other woman is like, what she's doing and...forget what's good for her child. That's her job, you are the baby that needs comfort and good examples right now and only YOU can give that to you!
Please, please sweetheart, honor and esteem yourself a little more and realize that anyone who goes off like this has never given you your proper place in his life and never will.
What do you do? You face your situation, fill your life with good important things and move on!!!!!!
Hard?: YES! Impossible?: NO! Absolutely necessary?: YES!!!!!!
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- Re: boyfriend cheated on me #48688
16 y
1,503
This is a reply to # 1,078,125Once a cheater -- maybe always a cheater.
Its a low level violation of trust and quite disrespectful.
When it happens it is like the biggest thing in the universe.
Years later, looking back, its like someone sneezed.- Like someone sneezed?.... Alikat
16 y
1,996
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This is a reply to # 1,078,442Well, it might be like that for you if you are the one doing the cheating, but for the woman involved, and I strongly suspect you are a man, it doesn't always have such an inconsequential effect. Geeez!
Disrespectful? You mean like yawning when someone's speaking? I also disagree with your assessment of "low level violation of trust". I might call using someone else's toothbrush a low level violation of trust, but not one's partner using someone else.
I do somewhat agree with you; 'once a cheater, most likely always a cheater".
Looking back at your post, I feel a sneeze coming on.........aaaahch....!
LOL
- Re: Like someone sneezed?.... #48688
16 y
1,692
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This is a reply to # 1,078,481"Low level" is interpreted different than intended.
low level - not a minor thing like using someones tooth brush, but low on a scale.
High on a scale could be - giving to a worthwhile charity.
low on a scale would be - stealing someones car.
So "low level" I was putting it into a perspective.
Were talking pretty low stuff here.
The "like someone sneezed" I was just trying to make the point that these things in life you move passed them and at that point it becomes not such a big deal.
Just putting out a perspective of hope regarding this.
I hope not everybody missed the main points of my well intentioned post.- I'm so sorry Alikat
16 y
1,828
This is a reply to # 1,078,865
I also hope I was the only person who misunderstood your post. Yes, I interpreted low level as meaning of low importance, as opposed to low behavior.
Indeed, time does make even our worst experiences fade, unless for some reason a person develops a long lasting trauma. People have different ways of reacting to the same situations, but for the most part, with time we heal.
Thank you for taking the time to clarify your good points. :-)
- I'm so sorry Alikat
16 y
1,828
- Re: Like someone sneezed?.... #48688
16 y
1,692
- Like someone sneezed?.... Alikat
16 y
1,996
- Re: boyfriend cheated on me Zoebess
16 y
1,533
This is a reply to # 1,078,125Yeah, betrayal IS painful, but~~
Deep down, do you really want to be friends
and make yourself miserable watching him kiss
on someone else or *wait* for him to crash
this new relationship so you can "be there
for him" when*ever* he wants your love and
comfort?? Gulp...please tell me you respect
yourself more than to do that. If he does not
respect you now, chances of him professing
an undying love down the road are just big
fantasies. While you are entitled to fantasize,
it sounds to me like a big pile of hurt waiting
to happen.
My 2 cents~~
Cut your losses and cut the relationship ties.
Heal your mind and spirit and become available
for the person who is still looking for you.
If this guy was the ONE, he sure would not be
snuggling up and sharing this woman with his
buds and keeping you on the hook too as his
lady in waiting. Hmmm....does he use condoms
every time he has intercourse?? Imagine what
kind of viruses he may be collecting if none
of his buddies do either. Or if this woman is
loose, how many she may be carrying and gifting
to anyone not smart enough to protect themselves.
Anyway, its your choice to sit around waiting
for crummy leftovers, but I hope you go out
and look for someone who catches your eye and
heart and who would like to enjoy your company
in a satisfying relationship.
best wishes,
Zoe
-_-
- Re: boyfriend cheated on me #48688
16 y
1,622
This is a reply to # 1,078,125An interesting thing happens when someone does something against another.
They justify the reason that they committed the crime.
They tend to imagine that the other person did something to them first and so they deserved what they got.
If this has happened, which is very likely, then he will always have a reason, even if imagined, to cheat again.
Which why - "once a cheater always a cheater" would have merit.
- Re: boyfriend cheated on me Alikat
16 y
1,867
