"1. I was just wondering if it is a good thing if you tell your loved one that you miss them? Missing in itself is not a positive thing to focus on - does saying this lead to negative feelings or positive ones? What you mean when saying this is that you really would love to see the other or see them again. It is an expression that you love that person so much that you miss their presence in your life.

I did say that to my husband on that voicemail, that I really missed him and of course it sounded a little emotional. Did this make him feel bad? Is this something one should avoid at all costs?"

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Listen to your feelings. Your emotions indicate whether it is helpful or unhelpful to say "I Miss You" to your husband. A few days ago, I was chatting on the phone to my best friend who lives in Malta and both of us said "I miss you!" to each other. But there was no negative feelings there, it was really the same as saying "I love you"

Your husbands feelings are not your reponsibilty. Yours are. Focus on what feels good to you and at the same time, irrelevant of his thinking, feelings and actions, focus on how you would like it to be for him (seeing him successful and happy)

This is going to take a while, you have been where you are for a long time, so be gentle with yourself. With continued effort, it won't take many months for you to reach a consistent abilty to focus only on what you want.

If you only do what you do in order for his happiness or a successful outcome, that is not your point of power. Your power is in the now, and the power comes only from feeling good. So, the focus is always on what you want and allowing good feeling thoughts to guide you.

I'll cover point 2 in an hour or so, but have to do some stuff right now.

"2. You mentioned in the other thread if I understand correctly that with time I will be able to apply LOA more effectively, specifically regarding this to me most important issue of my marriage, by preventing negative thoughts and emotions about him and us and maintaining positive thoughts and emotions. This will then lead to a changed behaviour in him by my setting an example of joy. As I send out positive vibrations he will react to those. I understand that the goal for me is to focus on ME, on MY thoughts and feeling and not his.

My question, even if I do this right, it will not automatically lead to the observance a drastic sudden change in his behaviour, correct? Change in him is expected to be slowly but steady, yes? So that would mean that he will continue to show actions he had previously = dont wants for a while. So, what I need to do is keep my focus ONLY on the positive aspects and apply virtual reality as discussed and this will lead to a steady improvement in his actions = wants in our relationship and ignore any setbacks. Is this correct?

What I'm trying to say is, he WILL change his actions and my wants WILL come true as long as I stay focused and don't let any setbacks dissappoint me/bring up negative thoughts and emotions. For example, if he pulled back in some form, not let this get me upset.

So just because he may take a step backwards occasionally this doesnt mean I necessarily created it at each and every moment as it is a process for him that takes time?"

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I'm back :-)

Yes, you are correct in all you say. What I am observing is your attachment to specific outcomes. Let those go. Focus only on relief from negative thoughts and feelings, AS A MEANS TO FEELING GOOD in yourself.

No need to attach to/observe ALL his actions and reactions. You ONLY include in your observations that which you like. And as that which you like becomes your dominant focus, you feel better and those actions will grow. They have to. For you can only see in others what is in you.

Each thought is like an acorn and as you continue to water each seed with your attentive focus, it grows into the size of an oak tree. It is your focus that will dictate whether this oak tree is wanted or unwanted.

There is no good and bad. Law of attraction is inclusive. Yet, you can choose which direction to focus to allow energy to flow there.

How he plays with his own energy is his buisness. Your buisness is to focus is always on you. You and your selfish joy seeking :-)

The world you live in, the people, the circumstances are all your creation, your mirror of inner being reflected by the outer. This is not to place blame or guilt .. this is to show that what you see "out there" is where you are. And where you are is ok. But you also know that you can mould your inner to effect change in the outer. That is our only job.

When we see sad people, it only reflects our sadness. And it is not that we are 100% sad, it is because that part of us that is sad, sees that part in them that is sad in others.

We only see in others what we are experiencing inside ourselves. You see anger, it is your anger, you see sadness, it is your sadness. You see joy, it is your joy.

So, whatever your dominant vibration, you will experience this in others too.

Does that clear things up?