Day 4 by FirstFastMay06 Blog entry

Blog: TODAY I will not drink alcohol!
by FirstFastMay06

Day 4

I won't say I'm making it, I won't say I'm doing that good, but it's working.

Date: 8/3/2006 11:32:24 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2809 times

Have you guys heard of Kombucha Tea? If not, google it or find it all over this site. I found the best place to buy it for the cheapest price. This person has been making it for 3+ years. When you get it, you never have to buy it again. you just keep making it. Anyway, definately google Kombucha Tea and then check prices everywhere and see if you can find it from a better source than here >

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZbrinick12QQhtZ-1

I couldn't find it from a better place. This person is a christian too, so no poisonous mushrooms! LOL

DAY 4
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Alcohol urges come and go right now a lot. I have this reoccuring thought of just drinking one last time. I will start dreaming about alcohol in the next few days because this always happens when I have quit for like a week at a time. Drinking would be so awesome if I could do it in moderation, but I know that in this lifetime it will never happen. I don't even want to think that I could put it in moderation one day, it's not worth it.

Ok, guys... at fourm that I have posted a question, a lot of people have been telling me to go to AA. I just over look it, but I know they are somewhat right. There is a lot of support there, but I just can't deal with that right now. I wonder what the statistic is of people that go to AA and then leave and go and drink? You never hear that one, but I am sure it is higher than the ones that stay and continue meetings. AA is good if you commit to it, but I can't stand the thought of it. I have had very bad experiences with it. I mean, most of the time, they go through the line of people and you have to talk about something. F*** that! Everytime I talked about my story it lasted like 15 minutes and everyone felt bad and all and then I would think about it for the rest of the night and go home and drink. Screw that s**t! I am sorry and know I shouldn't be cussing... here I'll go back and put in ***'s. There, I know everyone doesn't cuss and I respect that.

Really though, I don't want to ponder and worry about the past right now, I want to look forward for a while and then when I can say there is some time under me, I might go try AA again. It doesn't work good with me through withdrawal symptoms to just sit and talk about alcohol 24/7. I rather think about juicing or getting my tea and focusing on something else.

We shall see, 4 days now is getting pretty impressive because the longest I have gone in the last 6 years has been almost 2 week. Like 13 days I think without alcohol. You know what though? When I would go for long periods like that and then drink it would be very bad. Like a crack addict trying to smoke cotton lint on the floor. Hell, I have done that too many times. Thank God I didn't get addicted to that stuff. It would be a much shorter ride than alcohol.