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Starting First Fast 2Morrow!
I will be skinny!
Date: 4/16/2006 11:50:04 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2807 times Hey Every1!
Well I have decided to start my own blog, hopefully my journey will help you guys out there who are on a fast, or thinking about going on one. A little bit of my backstory- for any of you who are interested:
I am 19, 5'7. basically I have been fat all my life. I actually used to be a frail, skinny little girl, and my mom would worry that I wasn't getting enough to eat, but that all changed when I went into the 5th/6th grade. I have no clue what happened, maybe it was the pressure, or the huge change going from elementary to middle school-meeting tons of new people, all I know is I started to eat. and I ate alot. School is usually tough for a lot of people and I was no exception. I just found comfort in food. I ended up being bigger than all the girls in my class, and I felt out of place. I could never wear any of the cute clothes they did. And of course being fat, I definitely wasn't popular. Anyway, I ended up at 220 my Junior year of High school, Decided enough was enough when I couldn't fit into any of my clothes, and I went on an apple diet. ( an apple for breakfast and lunch, then a normal dinner, and of course my diet pills) Which I know you aren't supposed to take at that age-but I was very careful. I ended up getting down to 190, but eventually gained some of it back, and by senoir year I was 214lbs. I wanted to look good in my graduation dress so I went on another diet- this time the south beach, and I got down to 189lbs, and I looked really good in my dress, Believe it or not I was actually getting attention from guys and it made me feel great, except it didn't last. I told myself when Graduation was over and my birthday rolled around in June that I would go off my diet for one week. Just eat whatever I wanted and then get right back on. The problem is I never got back on. I eventually gained all the weight back, and now here I am 2 years later writing this blog desperately needing to lose weight. I haven't weighed myself recently- I will tomorrow, but last time I checked I was 239lbs.
My main reason for doing this fast is DEFFINITELY to lose weight. I know I will if I can stick to it. I also want to build up my confidence and self-esteem. I know weight loss will do that for me.I want to walk into a store like my skinny sister can, and buy anything I want-whether it is a tube top, a short skirt, or shorts. Not just buy something that will hide my fat. Today was Easter, I had a cute top that I bought-it was an XL. and yet it was still snug. I ended up wearing a jacket overtop of it to Hide a fat roll that was showing through my shirt-it looked gross.Here it is HOT outside and I wear long jeans and a black hoodie to cover myself. And my sister always makes a point to ask me why I wear that since it is SO hot out-like she doesn't know. And when I turn her down when she asks me to go swimming- she asks-WHY? I love her but am SO jealous of her. She always gets compliments about being so skinny- and she looks good in everything she wears. I am just sick and tired of being "the fat sister" I can just imagine people mixing our names up and saying- oh yeah which one is she? "she's the FAT one"
I could just go on forever about why I HATE being fat, but I won't waste anymore of your time. All you need to know is that I am going to be skinny- and fasting is how I am going to get there. Tomorrow I will post my measurements and weight and we will go from there. I don't have a specific number as to how long I am going to stay on this fast, I am just going to go as long as I can- at least a day is all I know. I have everything ready-my Jack lalanne juicer, watermelon, apples, oranges, pineapple. I am just going to drink away, take it one day at a time,and pray that I succeed! Well I guess that is all for now. Please keep me in your prayers as I will keep all of you in mine. I wish you the best of luck!
Salty
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