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Day Nine
feeling depressed...
Date: 4/8/2006 6:31:15 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2429 times Today is a bad day. Depression has taken over my mind and body. My thoughts-I can't even describe because they don't exist. I want to cry for no reason and my body just wants to sleep.
It is not like depression has never been a part of my life. I've plenty of terrible bouts with it. Much of it I have always tried to hide even though many of times that has been impossible. I guess I always feel like it is no one else's problem but mine. My mom said that since I have been on juice that I seem so much happier. Today must be just an off day.
Today has also presented itself with plenty of urges to eat. Not only to eat but the feeling that I need to go find any and every food I can and binge eat. I am fighting them though. I know I can be strong. Part of me believes that by binge eating everything will be okay. I know that is something I have trained myself to believe. I have to be strong.
Typicaly sleeping helps me with depression. Not this time-it only made it worse.
Time will heal though. Tomorrow will be better. I guess this is just part of the procedure right?
I guess I will try to leave on a good note. Down to 217... 2 pound loss.
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