I Broke Before I even Began
I broke to eat enough toxins to gain a GREAT amount of weight. Time for a water fast...please help me...
Date: 6/3/2005 10:26:16 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 2093 times
Alright for one reason or anothe I couldn't get started on this fast.
Today I went and bought a digital camera to take pictures of my body so I couldn't rationalize eating anymore. I have a lot to work through, I'm not even hungry MOST of the time I eat, I just eat to fill up some known to unknown void...because it tastes good. Hmmm no more words about tasting....
So alas I took pictures to truly see how deformed my body has become with 35 extra pounds on it. A sight that was truly scary for me. I only wore underwear to get the full effect, basically a bikini...and it was just sad. I printed out a front and back picture to put in my fasting journal to give me strength.
The weather is changing to the point that I can't hide under my "comfy clothes". I can't fit into ANY of my clothing...it's really sad. I feel as though I'm in shock. I ate such horrid food for the last few months because I've been poor and living from friend’s pantries, I gained weight and lost myself.
My friend wanted to go swimming today and I can't even bare the thought...let alone I can't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe or swimsuit.
Alas here I go...I pray that I will find the strength to rid my body of these toxins I have ingested and formed into my flesh. Oh I hope someone out there feels my words....
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