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Revelatory Dream
The way I am doing things right now
is no way to run an airline.
Date: 7/18/2006 6:24:32 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1291 times 4:00 AM
July 18, 06
Just had a Revelatory Dream.
I was with Livia Szekely,
the daughter of Edmond Bordeaux Sxekely,
the man Essene Renaissance pioneer of the 20th century.
Alex, her brother was in the dream.
I was with Sarah Livia on some kind of date.
We were spending time together at the house
where her mother still lived.
There was a seething round earth mound
that was billowing smoke and at one point
we went down there. She was showing me the old
house that I had visited years ago. It was in ruin
from proximity to the billowing pit of semi fire
eruption in the backyard.
We were going to see another place.
She seemed to Morph into her brother.
Because I am not aware of a Shift of some kind
but I she was in discussion of some very, very
esoteric work that she was discussing with a close
circle of allies who may have worked at Rancho La Puerta.
I believe her brother was making small airplanes
for sale to others, presumably well off people,
so they could have a plane right at home to get away
from the Madness when it erupted.
They were the kind of people in the neighborhood
who visit Rancho La Puerta, a very beautiful Spa
in Tecate.
Oh, now I see, Sarah Livia and I were going someplace.
There was a dress or something I wanted to buy for her
and we stopped before we went on our date at this other
little house. This was where her brother was leading
the teaching. She was so very close to him, that they
morphed into each other in my head, many symbolic
of the male and female in the same body on spiritual levels.
Yesterday I was cleaning up some things in the morning
hours. I really got into it. I was going to write something
about "vacuuming as a alternative health practice,"
sort of the way we write about this or that health practice
here in the Curezone.
The hightlight of the day was likely called to Lee,
who is a dear, dear friend, and an accountant with
a company that handles million dollar accounts.
They handle my piddly IRS yearly statement
which never is in the black. I do it mainly to keep my'
relationship clear with Social Security.
The way I am running my life now
is no way to run and airline.
I think I better repeat that:
THE WAY I AM RUNNING MY LIFE
RIGHT NOW IS NO WAY TO RUN AN AIRLINE.
Another call I made yesterday was to Raquel
who actually returned two calls to me, after I called
her once. She really wanted to talk.
She is the woman who did a Soul Reading on me
some time in the near past. The reading, based on
setting up a Template based on the Star of David
and using Numbers, showed that I am a 33 master
soul number. I have strong earth energies at the foundation,
but there is chasm, a Crack a mile wide between the Soul
and these strong Earth energies.
The Earth energies are reflected in the healthy parts
of this land where I live, a physical manifestation of the
Enchanted Garden.
The Enchanted Garden is a name for our New Earth
that we can each grow one seed and seed dream at a time.
There is this very strong medicine of a Jewish renewal
gathering about one month from now. It is in Santa Cruz.
That chasm is like a filter,. I often am wearing glasses
of no self esteem. That is what is in the Crack between
my Soul and my strong Earth foundation.
I have been thinking of shining on this Jewish Renewal
gathering.
I have been having a lot of discipline these days to say NO
to many of the distractions that I normally use to get into
doing what I am doing now....evolving my Systems
so I have confidence to take on some of the next level
Foundation issues that are up for me.
I realize from the call to Lee and Raquel as well as going
to an ARTS 12 step group last night, that the way I am attempting
to get to the other side of the Crack is totally absurd.
Rawgirl basically said the same thing in her comment
on this Blog yesterday:
She said the Quicken was not a good way to lose my Joy.
I have been stuggling against my Lack of Self Esteem for
about four weeks or more. The weather has been so hot--
like that round Pit in Sarah Livia's old backyard--that made
desolate the old house nearby where she grew up and I
visited 20 years ago--
I have been attempting to get to the other side by
getting deep into this Crack.
In the Crack is all my fear and anxiety.
I keep struggling to Master Quicken.
This is absurd.
Lee said I should be using Quickbooks.
He said that if I came up to the office
he could help me set it up.
The thing I realized yesterday, after
getting deep, deep into my money numbers
for the year, is that there are times where I
have done things on the fly that really make
no sense.
There goes back to personally attempting
to set up these Systems myself.
A person of Esteem would not take this on.
They would surrender and use their natural abilities
to draw in the right people to get this work done
so they could be using their Higher Talents,
not struggling with the abilities where they are not
proficient.
IF someone set up the Systems for me
I could follow them. I am not the one who should
be setting up these systems.
I ran into a woman at the 12 step group who is
a practicing story teller. She has learned how to get grants.
She does not believe that artists need to be starving.
IF I keep going the way I am, by the end of the summer
I will have shined on this important Jewish Renewal Gathering.
I will really not be anywhere near approaching the main goals
that I need to do.
All this building of confidence--presumably my intent with
struggling with Quicken--was to feel foundationally competent
to take on the Bigger unknowns... I.e, the House Purchase
2. Setting up a Non-profit.
The Grandfather of the Jewish Renewal movement
is less that 70 miles from here right now on retreat.
IT is a rare time to see him. I imagine he would give me
an audience.
I would shine on that opportunity, even though he is in his
elder years. My own father was in a convalescent home
in LA right now. I haven't even called in the last week to check
on him. Is he still there?
What are my priorities?
The basement is full of bugs and microscopic biting
somethings and needs to be plastic bagged.
The clutter needs to be taken on.
The area needs to be cleansed.
The Foundation of the Enchanted Garden
is full of bugs and Unclean stagnant Life.
I am two to three weeks away from the first year
anniversary of the International Feng Shui Conference
last summer. I was thinking last night of how that was
perhaps my greatest single expression in this life
of a time where a Whole Movement was right in my
backyard. I fully expressed at that conference, using
my every higher talent. History was shifted at that
conference through my participation, however, my follow
up was weak.
I did not make it a focus as yet to follow up on the
crucial seeds that were planted that go all the way
up to influencing The Future of Food and GMO usage
in California.
I am not using my Higher Talents and Abiltiies,
I am stuck in the mud of the Crack.
Again, This is no way to run an airline.
A whole war in the mideast has broken up
while I have been struggling during this Mercury
Retrograde period.
What would I be doing now if I were coming from
a Soul filled place rather than a Cracked Up place?
I would be calling in my Advisors.
I would be wearing my Charm that Marina Lighthouse
gave me last year.
I would make sure that my Best Friend
had a Charm as well. She is my Twin Soul
and doing some amazing things right now to
take a trip out of the country. IT is very important
that she go. There are tons of Crack things
that are creating anxiety about her going.
She needs to go for the Sake of her Soul Growth.
She needs a lot of good support right now--
advisorship. So do I.
I am some of the most powerful allies
in the world within my Circle of Friends
and those I can Influence if I take time to
be with them.
I keep thinking about how to make the most
of the next twenty years.
There are things that need to be done right now...
things that require a lot of deep thinking and reaching
out.
There are priorities that a person of my Soul
Life could be doing right now to help myself and help the
world.
The way I am doing things the last four weeks
has added to the pain, suffering, and confusion
in the world.
This is not the highest way to get my Foundation
established and on to the being a success in this
Life. This is not the way to use my resources
to make sure that twenty years from now,
the books I have written are out in the world,
not sitting on my shelves.
This is no way to run an airline.
4:45 AM
(4:48 AM
Just attempted to make a link to
a poem I wanted to reprint here
that is on my Getting Hip Site
about the Lamb and being Responsible for
the War in the world....
but this is the Message I get...
This is a Mercury Retrograde
attempting to gell me something...
Bottomline...I am misconfiguring my energies
right now....this is the message that
came up on my web site....
Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.
Please contact the server administrator, root@localhost and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.
More information about this error may be available in the server error log.
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Apache/2.0.52 (CentOS) Server at lesliegoldman.com Port 80
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http://lesliegoldman.com/GettingHip.html
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