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Speak Up and Live!
Ranting at Jewish Services!!!
It's important to speak up,
Holding back and inside
your deepest feelings is a killer.
Date: 5/16/2005 7:24:24 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1813 times I attended a meeting of the Shir HiYam
Jewish Renewal Chevre yesterday.
Chevre is a word for "family" prayer group...
kind of like a family.
The Torah portion was this disgusting
paragraph about how the Priests
of old, were expected to be
pure for God. They are not allowed to
"defile" themselves by mourning
other than their son, daughter, mothers,
and fathers, or virgin sisters.
They were not allowed to mourn the
death of their wife.
This really plugged me into my
original pain work, much of it in a Jewish context.
I could not figure out why the service
leader, a woman I admire,
focused on this small paragraph
that I felt defiled human relationship
although I am sure there was some esoteric
point.
I did not see any redeeming qualities
is this teaching. I was shrinking in my personal
power by keeping my mouth shut.
Then, followed a healing moment,
when you were suppose to ask for healing
for yourself or others.
I did something I have never done before.
I expressed myself fully about how
absurd I felt this teaching was.
I was angry and I let that be known.
I said I felt full of power and inspiration
when I came in the door that morning,
but felt less power hearing this Torah portion.
I said I came to give an apology to the Jewish people
for withholding my love and holding myself back.
I told about the incident where I "rebuked" the orthodox
rabbi the week before for having Classic Coke on the
table where kids and others were exposed to this poison.
I have blogs on that here:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=247
I told how I was going to take a stronger stand on improving
the garbage quality white egg bread that passes off as
some kind of bread sacrament each week among the Jewish
people. I was going to speak up about the poison chemicals
that are being used in the local bakery to clean and are making
a sweet girl there I have met get headaches.
I ranted for about two minutes at a time when this was
quite unexpected by others, but that was how I felt...
One person called my name near the end, as if to quiet me.
Surprisingly, almost everyone in the service was positive
about what I said, and thanked me for being real and authentic.
We all went out to lunch together.
It was the closest I have felt to this group of people.
In saying my real feelings, I shut the door on more of my past
feelings of holding back and losing power in Jewish settings.
I opened the door to being more me.
Your Enchanted Gardener,
Leslie
#6, 5:26 AM, May 16, 05
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