An Open Letter to the Mafias of the World Asking for Help in Ending the Mumbo Pandemic (Satire)

Sol Luckman

Dear Mafias of the World,

As I am sure you know, the world is currently undergoing a global infectious crisis that is unprecedented in our history.

This pandemic, caused by antihuman Mumboes that are thought to be of extraterrestrial origin, is finally showing signs of abating in certain sectors of the human population in which people are coming to realize that Mumboes are mental parasites and should be rejected as such.

The problem is that Mumboes have continued to proliferate and grow ever more problematic and dangerous in numerous key areas of society: in our governments, our corporations, our healthcare system, our media, our municipalities, our armed forces, and in our law enforcement agencies.

The leading theory to explain this phenomenon is that, somewhat like flies emerging from larvae contained in dung, Mumboes have parasitized millions of mentally susceptible humans to such an extent that the former have taken over the minds—and even the bodies—of the latter.

Those who have resisted or been cured of the Mumbo infection understand that the continued existence of Mumboes in our power structures threatens not only human rights and civil liberties but the very survival of humanity.

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