Date: 7/16/2013 12:48:04 AM ( 9 y ) ... viewed 904 times
Woke up early today.
Drank a lot of water.
Not eating is like stopping any addiction. You want to do it, but have decided to stop it.
Food is so good and addictive.
It doesnt have a social stigma. You have to eat to survive.
But you can abuse it so easily. I wish I could abuse it but I can't. I know fruitarian can eat as much as they want. I am confused.
I feel so mentally weak. I just want to sleep.
I watched my father eat today.
I quit junk and cigarettes so I know the pain and know how to deal with it.
I was annoyed lately with thinking. I kept thinking trying to find an answer to life. Trying to find the best path, trying to find some kind of universal true answer to life.
Well after so many years of looking into religion, I can see that everybody has an opinion and a story to tell. THere is no truth. Just stories and point of views.
Life and death, don sweat it, one day you are alive and the other you are dead. No meaning to it.
So dont compare yourself too much to others. Everybody has a different style and you have to trust in yourself because if you follow the rules, you are as good as anyone. TV wants to tell you otherwise but thatś not true.
Also another thought in my mind. You have to value what you have. greed is so easy.
I cant see the line between ambition and greed.
I am confused.
Things I am daydreaming about: Pizza, pizza and more pizza.
Nutella. Potato chips. Burgers.
I can not get attached to things.
Life has no meaning.
People will forget you.
People want to be remembered.
They make wars.
They write books.
They make art.
They make stuff.
You can make all of the above. But dont do it to be remembered because it takes the fun out of it.
I used to take pictures so that I can remember.
I needed to have some reference in the world.
Then I started writing.
I must have reference.
Then I started wanting to make a video game.
But I failed.
I got so angry.
I am still going to write my diary.
Not because I NEED something as an anchor.
My anchor is the SUN.God may or may not exist. It depends on my mood.
I am going to write my diary so that I see clearly in my mind. It makes thoughts clearer.
I dont care if I am not remembered.
I dont care if today is over.
I dont care if I am nobody.
I dont care if time passes. It will pass and one day Iĺl go to the other side. One day alive, the next POUF dead!
I think I am gonna dance!
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