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Pulling Myself Up from a Dark Place
Pulling Myself Up from a Dark Place.
Date: 5/28/2012 1:06:34 PM ( 12 y ) ... viewed 1373 times
UPDATE
11 am
May 31, 2012
I did not give up. I went back to the synagogue one more time near the end of Shavuot. I brought a photo of the Rabbi who had been an ally of mine 30 years ago. I grew some wheat for him with the intent of growing a healthy Challah bread. I delivered the organic locally grown food as I said I would to the youth director of the school. He invited me to plant a healthy Challah at their upcoming picnic Sunday June 10, 2012.
Here is that link
http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1944500
Leslie Goldman, Your Enchanted Gardener, with the kids of the Montessori School of Tecate, May 18, 2012. We were pulling dreams out of the Magic Box and Grinding Kamut (R) Knorasan wheat to Grow a Healthier Pizza.
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
My Garden Management Journal
May 28, 2012
10:10 am
Garden Management Journal
I took on something the last two day that does not feel possible at this time. It is the Holiday of Shavuot, a time of Receiving the Law, or the Ten Commandments as some see it.
I am getting a wake up call this morning.
I felt beaten down and depressed, headachy and near throwing up. I am feeling a bit better now, good enough to take a few notes here, and then get on with the day.
I am feeling very lucky as well. I have a loving woman in my life. I am accepting her where she is at. I am a bit concerned right this minute about how she is doing. Her ankle, that has been improving for numbers of weeks from a serious fall months ago, was reinjured. She was in great pain yesterday morning. The narcotics she took to ease the pain are making her feel out of sorts. I want to give her some support, and a clay treatment.
I would like to ask her to write up a report of the treatments she has received at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, so I feel good about asking for an extension of services. She does not have funds to pay for these valuable treatments.
My Last Two Day
One of the most difficult assignments in my life is making sense of my Orthodox Jewish experience. Shavuot some years has been an incredibly elevating experience. One year, I even was the teacher at a Shavuot workshop. That was a camp out. My friend Dalya Miri made that possible that I could teach.
Some years, I have joined in with my Jewish Renewal communities. I am longing that I did not travel the distance to Los Angeles to participate in what would have been a heartfelt experience, but I chose to stay home.
I felt it was important to stay close to home. I had a peak experience at the 2nd Festival of Traditional Medicine of the Americas last weekend. I had days at Rancho La Puerta.
I wanted to get some closure on those incredible growth spurts before getting a complete on the Caravan to the National Heirloom Expo that I want to do
in September.
What Happened this Shavuot
So this is what happened this Shavuot. I thought I had the strength to go to the nieghborhood synagogue, an orthodox shule. I have two families that are allies there.
The Jewish Orthodox stay up all night to study. They ask the kids to study for a number of hours. The trade this time was that the kids, for every hour that they did study work, got to go into a room that was called The TWGCG?
TQGCCG stood for The Worldest Greatest Cany Grab (w/fruit) TWGCG. The adults were allowed to put on 3D glasses to preview the room before the kids went in.
This was a most devastating sight to me.
This large closet of a space was covered with candy, the most outrageous assortment and collection of candy injurious, in my world view, for kids. There was one tray of an orange cut up with some other kinds of fruit, bur I am still in shock to recall what fruit it might have been.
Tomorrow Pamm Larry is in San Diego
Tomorrow Pamm Larry, the main inspiration behind the Label GMOs California campaign is in San Diego. I will spend hours with her at a few venues. I have been investing many hours in this campaign. There are 40 countries where governments have given and people have insisted upon the right to know the ingredients, but here in the US we do not have the RIght to Know if our foods Have GMOs in them.
The initiative is asking for a Label.
I did not know some of the Orthodox Rules for Shavuot, but I carried a few papers with me into the Synagogue.
I showed one to a a man who turned out to be an M.D.
He was asking shooting holes in the arguments on the sheet from the Label GMOs campaign. He was pointing out how Genetic Engineering was helping him in his practice.
I feel like barfing again right now. My nerves are in shock.
He was asking for Data about why GMOs are dangerous from my point of view. She was of the opinion that there is no data to show that GMOs are dangerous.
Data Alone is not Enough
Data alone is not enough about why I feel GMOs need to be Labeled. There are also ethical questions here, and major questions about the nature of food.
That is why I have started a Dialogue on Science, Ethics, and Food on Facebook.
Hillcrest Farmers Market Yesterday
Yesterday was my Sunday Hillcrest Farmers Market. Nadine went with me after making a few pizzas for the "Grow a Healthier Pizza" Project that is giving us both great joy. She did not have the energy to do too much because her Ankle was hurting and she had taken a narcotic for the pain.
My Achilles heel is that I take on too much, but general, because of Grace and the importance of the work that drives me forward, I succeed. I had a couple ideas I was wanting to pull off at the Hillcrest Farmers Market.
One was gathering energy for the Grow a Healthier Pizza Project. Although Nadine had to sit down most of the time, I had the delightful daughter of
a friend who was helping me around the market. She was making the Pizzas for me with large assortments of fresh vegetables. This was a lot of fun.
Gathering Food for the Jewish People
Saturday night between Shabas and Shavuot they had a dinner at the synagogue. They had Diet Coke on the table and other soft drinks. I walked over to the salad bar. It was some of the worse quality lettuce I had seen. I would not even feed this to my earthworms.
The other veggies were from cans likely, pesticide approved, or corn. Much of our corn today is GMO.
Seeing this was before the incident of the Candy Grab.
I had gone home to rest, and then I came back later for the all night teaching. I lasted a few hours, then came home.
Yesterday at the FM, I collected a lot of food for the Jewish People at the synagogue. it was a big idea.
Visiting Lisko
I also had one other trip after the market to a delightful Lisko Artisan Deli, a few blocks from my house. We samples some of the Pizza, and I brought some of JR organic strawberries with the idea that this lovely store could be an outlet for FM food that was not sold. Koska, the owner, was very much open to this.
He was also very exciting by the Pizza, and the Kamut grain. He is really on board about the Kamut (R) grain. He wants to use it. I am going to set that up.
Success with Kamut (R) Khorasan Wheat at Lisko
I want to blog on that success. That makes me feel good.
Back to Synagogue
Then, I came home to drop off Nadine some salmon from Lisko, and go to the Synagogue.
I parked in front. I had all my FM foods in there. I want to make friends here, and I was concerned about taking in too much or breaking some of the rules.
I carried in one small basket of very special strawberries with some real apricots and blackberries.
The Rabbi, Yehuda, and the men were studying Talmud. I put the basket on the table next to me. I was invited to sit and listen. Then were discussing the laws of when I woman is impure and how any food that she makes during this time is impure. I think these laws may have just applied to the time when we had the Temple, but I am not sure.
A man came in and wanted to sit at the empty seat. He moved my basket off the table. He wanted to sit there. I thought this was O.K. It turned out it was the M.D. who wanted the data.
I was stunned with the chism here to here the detail of the laws that were being discussed, and yet there was nothing on the radar about the laws that were being broken with feeding the kids all that candy.
I just listened. There is a powerful directive here toward a certain goal that is embedded within this brand of Jewish orthodoxy.
Then the class was over.
We went into the main sanctuary to listen to a guest rabbi. He was pointing out the amazing mystical relationships between the number of passages or letters in the Torah and world events in Jewish History.
I could not help but ask a question. I said that what he was saying begged the question of how was this very moment significant. I am not sure that my point was clear.
I was also clear that my tone was not the the best.
I have not yet found my place here to speak out what I feel must be said.
I have some other contacts here with the leadership.
I did make some progress with the head of the students the other night before the Candy Grab.
This all just seems so very huge to take this one.
The food I brought to educate, one basket went to Yehuda. He received it as a gift. Then I went home, and gratefully, later, I had some help bringing in the other food.
I am overcome with the thought that here I am wanting to take a Caravan to teach about GMOs and make a statement, and here in my backyard neighborhood is this immense need for education--from my point of view.
Today
I am still feeling somewhat depleted and sick. Maybe it is something I ate yesterday...likely...and the energy that I took in.
I would like to gather my forces on this the final day of Shavuot--and memorial day to just clean up a few things.
I better take on something I can handle, a little cleanup.
That in itself is an immense proposition.
I needed to write this.
I near Anna calling out to Nadine.
I want to go get some comfort form Nadine.
I do not want to be cruel and mean to this branch of the Jewish People. My goal would to end the suffering that I see.
Do I dare say this?
It seems that what the Nazis started--the idea of eliminating the Jews--is continuing through what we are doing to our kids, and the horror for me, it is being done in innocence. So many laws, so very many laws being followed here, and what can I do to help?
Please God. Let me help.
Please God, allow me to clear my own space so I can a stronger to help.
Dear God, help me serve and be fulfilled in what is before me these precious moments of our human time on earth.
11:04 am
11:01 am
Memorial Day
This is about the kind of Children's Education that Luther Burbank believed children needed. Art by Leslie Goldman, Your Ecnhanted Gardener, 2007.
A Note from the Synagouge Newsletter about the
TWGCG, Candy Grab
"...is hosting a WOW moment. It is an experience your child will not forget. This World's Greatest Candy Grab (w/fruit) TWGCG. After every hous your child learns he or she will get 2 monutes in the magical land of reward. See the look of awe as they learn and taste from the land flowing with milk and honey of learning. Last year it was an amazing success and something children talked about for months tome come. WHATS THE BIG IDEA, much as the next work is filled with see reward, much as this world is a chance to grab as many mitzvoth in the little time we have, much as we learn, work, in the little time we have in this world, we then enjoy This Sweet, World to Come! Now in 3D!"
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